Every family has a secret. Sometimes it’s eerie and dark that everyone you’ve ever met in days passed would jump on the opportunity to know. Sometimes it’s light and ear catching, like discovering you’re an heirloom to a series of riches from a far away country. Everyone has their opinions and talents when it came to something that was destined to be kept hidden. And in my case, secrets were something I was good at. I never told, and I never planned on it. That is - until he happened.

Everything had changed within the blink of an eye once he got here. All the quiet and serene views of the white picket fences and flower beds by the mailboxes all looked like they had scary stories to tell once the street lights came on. The cool fall weather felt like an arctic winter, everything freezing in time whenever he entered a room. Yet - he was my sun. The warmth on my skin, the gentle flutter in my stomach with a personality addictive enough to make drug addicts rethink their ways. But speaking to him had been a mistake. I had brought such a brilliance, light and joy into my dark, unlit sky.

I had to tell him, I had no choice. Trust was something he had taught me, something I had never thought I could believe in before now. I just didn’t think that I would be telling my family horrors to someone as innocent as himself. He was someone that I never should have involved in this awful situation. I should have kept my mouth shut like I had been told. But something about him changed everything, reversed my whole way of thinking. Deep down, I wanted to tell him. But I just didn’t know how.

I suppose I should return to the beginning, retell the story about how this hurricane started turning until it spiraled out of control. It’s a dark story to tell, and it’s another secret I’ve had to keep…until now. I remember everything about the day it all started. Each second and every minor, obscure detail that the court would look past in the hearing. The tiny things that didn’t mater anymore. That one, ordinary start to first day back at school.
September second was D-Day. The day they came into the picture and caused all of the chaos that nobody had ever expected possible in such a small school. As soon as I had laid my light blue eyes on him, I knew I had to stay away. All the voices in my head pulsated with my dark past, and an even more desolate future.

That was the worst part about all of this. Shutting myself off from the world to keep everything bottled up inside of me. Friends was something I had very seldom of, since I was always afraid of people getting suspicious of what I had to hide. I was quiet, only speaking when spoken to like I had been told when the secrets started forming. Because off all of this, rumors circulated me like the west nile virus. Why I acted the way I did, and why my transcript always remained blank about my family or where I came from. It was a mystery to all the other kids, and they didn’t dare ask questions.

But I liked it that way, allowing people think for themselves and come up with all the crazy stories they wanted to. I wasn’t the odd girl out who dressed all in black and disappeared into crowds whenever the late bell rang - but I was near the same. I dressed just like everyone else did, my face hard to pick out in the mobs of students that swelled the corridors. At Bristol Hillman Music Conservatory located right in the middle of New York City, it was an easy feat. One of the very seldom ‘easys’ I had the joy of taking on.

I wore all the right brands, and did my hair jus the right way - kept my mouth shut and smiled whenever someone waved to me or gave me a nod at a passing glance. I kept my cool, and acted as if I had nothing undisclosed to the rest of the world. Like I was just the girl next door that had moved in last year with no trace of coming or going, just appearing.

I followed the same routine as last year when I walked into the main lobby on the first day. I dissolved into the faces of all those who surrounded me. But today, something seemed out of place. There was a large cluster of people in front of a group of lockers near the auditorium. Each year everyone would meet here regarding the first day welcoming ceremony. It was an opportunity for all the new students who had the fortune of being accepted to be given a formal greeting on their first day.

People were talking loudly, some snapping pictures of whatever or whoever stood in front of them. The small splurge of abnormality coming from the crowd dissipated quickly, as the provost of the school Mr. McNevin entered the setting. Everyone quickly filed inside and landed in their seats among their friends, some still craning their necks to find the outsiders who had caused the glitch in the all too routine day.
I was somewhat intrigued, but I kept my distance. Last thing I needed was another person to think I had parents in the mafia or that we had all jumped the border. They would make judgments on their own without my consent - as always. For me being so quiet and distant, people seemed to talk about me a lot.

I scanned the crowd for any sign of my two closest friends, Meris and Sawyer. Neither of them knew anything about me other than the basics, and neither of them pushed the rumors about who I was and what my all too apparent secret was. They were the closest thing to love I had, and I owed them big time for it.
I was standing in front of the large, green double doors that led inside the auditorium - being one of the last ones that had yet to take their seats. Something smacked me upside the head. I rolled my eyes and looked down to see a crumpled up piece of paper. I turned my attention to the direction it had come from, seeing Meris waving me over from the eighth row following the stage. I sighed, running my hand through my long, chestnut brown hair and made my way down the aisle towards their seats.

I could feel eyes on me as I walked, new secrets to be told passing through the continuous chains of people that filled the room around me. But there was a new presence about the student body today. Something bright, and I could sense the anxiety in the room as the news of their arrival buzzed about the audience. It made me curious.

“And here she is, the uncanny queen herself.” Meris said as I slid fluidly into my seat beside her. “Where the hell have you been all summer?”

“Around.” I shrugged, giving my usual one word answer.

“Attention people… your attention please.” Provost McNevin addressed us, the room immediately silencing at his loud voice booming about the acoustics of the room. “Thank you.”

“You are going to tell me later.” She pressed, speaking quietly into my ear. “You can’t just go MIA all summer without an explanation.”

“I’m pretty sure I just did.” I responded coolly, smirking at her. She rolled her eye and sighed in frustration. Meris knew me better than to question what I did, then again - she always was one for change over vacations. And she always expected the same for everyone else. Her usual, long blonde hair was now short with swift side bangs. She had traded her usual red sox tee shirt for a light, flowy top and a pair of American Eagle shorts.

My gaze moved from her to Sawyer, who still looked fairly the same as she did last year. Her auburn hair was down, framing her features nicely. She was wearing a black tank top, a chunky Juicy Couture wrap around necklace and a pair of sevens jeans. Her mom was one of the top paid stylists in the city, so she always looked cute. She looked at me briefly, giving a small nod and smile before turning her attention back to Mr. McNevin.

Satisfied, I crossed my legs and leaned back in my seat - my hands resting on the arms of the stiff auditorium seats. I looked back out to the mess of students about the air conditioned room, picking out names and faces of the people I recognized from years passed. Some were looking at me as well, turning their attention away whenever I caught their eye. The provost’s voice caught into my thoughts as everyone turned their gazes to meet his - apparently something important about to be said.

“As I’m sure most of you may know, we’ve had the great honor of having three new students join us at our school this fall.” He said, a wide grin spreading on his aged face. “I just want to remind you that here at Bristol Hillman, we treat everyone with respect and their rights to privacy - so I assume that you will be treating our new students just like you would any other.”

Low murmurs rippled among the mouths and ears of the students, many grinning ear to ear as others kept their attention elsewhere. I peered over to the row diagonal from us, seeing a boy texting on his phone. I rolled my eyes, it wasn’t unusual. Provost McNevin had tried to instate a rule prohibiting cell phone usage during school hours, but the idea had failed miserably my freshman year.

“So without further adieu, I’d like to welcome Nicholas, Joseph and Kevin Jonas to our school.” McNevin spoke, lifting his hand in the direction of the boys - where the three of them stood up and gave a small wave to the crowd before returning to their seats soon after. Everyone applauded, girls screaming and people whistling. I raised an eyebrow in confusion, and clapped along boredly. I looked over at Sawyer and Meris, their arms around each other as they held on to their dear lives before they went into cardiac arrest.

“What’s the big deal, they’re just guys.” I said lazily, propping my feet up on the chair in front of me. The kid sitting their scowled a bit, but said nothing.

“Don’t you know who they are?!” Sawyer squealed quietly as the Provost continued his speech about school rules, future events and fundraisers.

“Obviously not.” I responded dryly.

“Would it kill you to have a personality?” Meris said with an eye roll.

“Instantly.” I smirked. Meris and I were good friends, but our minds and attitudes were completely different. We were the ones that got on each others nerves most often. Sawyer usually stayed out of it. She just huffed at my response and continued anyways.

“They are the Jonas Brothers! You know, hottest band of the year, best summer single, teen choice hotties - they’re the biggest thing around these days!” She said, going on and on about them and their concerts and their music. Each look that she gave and the tone of her voice made me feel completely stupid. It’s not my fault I had other … commitments over the summer and hadn’t been paying any attention to the media. I just picked at the pink nail polish that was chipping off my fingernails while she blabbed. She grabbed my hand to get me to stop once she realized I had seized listening. “Please tell me you know who they are.”

“Can’t say I do.” I said boredly, sliding my feet down from their propped up position of the headrest in front of me and standing up along with everyone else in the room. The small assembly had ended, and all of us were preparing to leave.

“You’re hopeless sometimes, you know that?” Meris said, slowly getting up to follow.

“I’ve been told.” I said over my shoulder as the lines of people slowly melted into the halls so everyone could get to their first class. I broke free of the congestion of students and made my way down the west hallway that led to the band rooms. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye!” Sawyer said brightly, waving as I went down the hallway opposite they were going. Meris just rolled her eyes and stalked off, waiting for her other friend to follow.

I took my time making my way to my lesson, knowing that in a school that ranged from students grades nine through seniors in college would result in someone always being late for class because of the layout of the halls. I was usually that person, and most teachers didn’t care much about it as long as you didn’t arrive fifteen minutes into the class.

The first course I had signed up for was development of song writing. I had picked my electives lazily last year, just wanting to get of school and not even think about the upcoming year. I liked writing songs, but I was never one for singing. If I got into the music business like I had hoped, I would just be strictly song writing and producing - maybe some marketing kinda stuff. I never wanted to be part of the big picture, just the small people in the background who handled all the big guys.

Music hadn’t even been my first choice of a career path. My real love was fashion design. I used to attend a fashion design school until my family uprooted us from London and moved us to America. I had moved so many times and been given so many different courses and offered about twelve different career paths, resulting in my ‘destiny’ varying from day to day. My family was a touchy topic, so I didn’t really tell anyone about all the places I had been and all the things I had done throughout my schooling years. Just another secret to keep.

“Raven Wilson, is it?” The teacher said as I slowly creaked open the door to the classroom, my arrival being three minutes later that everyone else‘s. Everyone in the room turned around and studied me curiously. It was only the first day, usually teachers didn’t care much about whether we even showed up or not. In fact, I knew about a big group of juniors that were all skipping to go see Legally Blonde on Broadway at sometime this afternoon.

“Uhm, yes?” I said, leaning against the door so it squeaked to a close. The room was dim, most of the curtains drawn to keep the sunlight out. My eyes went to the teacher at the podium that stood front of the class. Her cool grey eyes not moving from her attendance sheet at all until she removed her glasses to give me an icy stare.

“Uhm, yes?” She repeated, the light purple frames now hanging loosely around her neck. She folded her hands and started walking between the aisles of desks towards me - her loud Nine West heels cracking loudly on the hard wooden floors. “You sound so … unsure of yourself.”

I sighed. “Yes, I am Raven Wilson.” I repeated dully. What was her deal?

“Much better.” She smiled at me. “Mind telling me why you’re three minutes late to my class?”

“It’s the first day and I … got lost?” I offered, biting my lip. Suddenly the door opened loudly, a boy of about eighteen or so bursting into the classroom. He had jet black hair and a fairly short frame for his age - being about five ten. His clothes were fairly dressy for school, but the look seemed to fit him more than it would others.

“Sorry, so sorry I’m late.” He said, breathing a bit heavily as he slowly closed the door behind him like I had. He looked around at everyone like I had when I entered, looking nervous.

“Ah, another.” The teacher smiled. “It is a shame that students of such…assumed maturity would be showing up tardy to class in such prestigious school. And I thought you’d be eager to learn…” She spoke, turning on her heel and walking back to the podium. The boy and I exchanged glances, not knowing whether we should move or say anything to help ease the obvious tension.

“Judging by this list, you must be Joseph.” She said, tapping a pencil on the rough wooden surface. The rhythm of the sound was off, echoing vacantly through the deadly silent classroom.

“Yeah, that’s me.” The boy responded somewhat confused. A few girls in the room exchanged excited whispers, and I figured that this must be one of the new famous kids that had transferred in. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

“Well Mr. Jonas, you and Miss. Wilson here can both do me the pleasure of serving detention today after school for your disruptive entrances into my class.” She said, tucking a strand of her faded red hair behind her ear.

“But I-” Joe started, but she held up a finger to silence him.

“Please Joseph, do us all a favor. Would you and Raven here please take your seats so I can continue on with my class?”

Joe looked down at me apologetically as though my getting detention was his fault. I shrugged as to say ‘don’t worry about it’ and slowly walked over to an empty seat at one of the many long black tables meant for two people. He followed me soon after, and to my surprise sat down beside me. I did a double take of the room and realized that the seat was the only one left. Figured.

“So let me continue with what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted.” The teacher I now knew as Mrs. Simmons said as she had just written her name on the board. Joe and I exchanged glances at the shot made at us, but I looked away quickly. I wasn’t a big believer in eye contact. I always felt like looking into someone’s eyes told you everything about them. She started mumbling on about her expectations for the year, Joe and I already failing her at strict policy of being on time. I sighed, letting my head fall onto the desk’s surface.

“We’ll have two exams in this class, a mid term and a final. Miss Wilson please pay attention when I’m speaking…” She said, already lashing out at me during her lecture. Strike two. I groaned, sitting upright and crossing my legs at the ankles. I was starting to hate this class already.

Secret #1 : I‘m starting to think Mrs. Simmons knows something I don‘t.

I had never had detention before today. I was a decent student - I never did anything that would result in something like this. And in my mind, none of that had changed. I hadn’t done anything wrong - this Mrs. Whatever her name is was just picking on me. And I was determined to find out why.

Walking the halls when they were this empty was a bit unsettling. It reminded me of the annual haunted house that was held here every year, and I jumped every time a locker would slam in a distant hallway or a window being shut in a nearby classroom just out of habit. The sun was pouring in the floor to ceiling windows that lined the walls in-between the rows of the dull teal lockers, casting a warm glow on the matching grey and teal tiled flooring.

I kept my arms crossed, a look of disgust on my face. My tote bag was over my shoulder as I walked down to Mrs. Simmons room, my shoes padding quietly in the silence of the school. Something about her was bothering me. Her attitude towards me wasn’t appropriate in my mind, and part of me just wanted to jump up and slap her. The way she knew my name right away and seemed to hint at distaste when she said the last name Wilson. I tried my best not to think about it, but it all just seemed ridiculous to have this random new teacher assign me detention on the first day. It all seemed out of place. Bristol Hillman didn’t hire teachers just randomly. They usually spent months introducing new teachers. They would mentor in other classes, get to know some of the students and the different classes and the teachers that taught them. Never before had a teacher just ‘showed up’ at our school without notice.

Arriving at the classroom door, I saw Joe walking towards me from the opposite end of the hallway. The expression on his face was unreadable, his hands in his pockets and a Louis Vuitton messenger bag over one shoulder. I rolled my eyes and put my hand on the knob of the door, twisting it with no success. I groaned and turned on my heel, leaning against the wall. “Locked?” Joe asked, suddenly appearing at my side without notice. I jumped a bit, since he had been nearly fifty feet away five seconds ago.

“Course.” I sighed.

“Has she always been like this? Mrs. Simmons, I mean?” He asked me, studying my features. I wished he would stop looking at me like that. Almost everyone that had looked at me did it simply out of curiosity, wondering what it was that I seemed to keep hidden all the time. But not Joe. He just … looked at you. He must not have heard about me from anyone yet. It was only a matter of time before he started distancing himself from me like everyone else did.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged, my gaze returning to my teal converse sneakers. “This is the first year she’s been here, and it’s been made painstakingly obvious I’m already on her bad side.”

“You and me both.” He said with a weak laugh. Suddenly the classroom door opened, and an older man of about forty walked out. He was wearing a suit, a deep navy briefcase in his hand. The expression about his face was cold, and the way he stared me down as he left made me shudder a bit. Mrs. Simmons appeared instantly after, her tall figure towering over the both of us with the obvious air of authority.
“How long have you been outside this door?” She asked sharply, her icy grey eyes scanning over both Joe and mine’s faces. We exchanged glances, mumbling a short response that was inaudible. “Well?” She asked a little louder, the tone of her voice ringing with slight strain.

“About five minutes.” I repeated impatiently, fed up with her attitude. She seemed to relax a bit, but I didn’t think she saw me notice.

“Inside.” She said roughly, her aura returning to it’s usual ice queen status, as she stepped out of the doorway and pointed into the deserted classroom. “Sit.” She said, closing the door behind us. Joe and I went to take our seats, but she held up a hand to stop us. “Opposite sides of the room. Joseph here,” She pointed at the desk in front of her. “Raven - over there.” She pointed again, gesturing to the desk closest to the windows.

“Wouldn’t kill you to say please.” I mumbled under my breath, brushing past her to my seat.

“What was that Raven?” She spat.

“Nothing, I said nothing!” I said exhaustedly, raising my arms in defeat. “Just … chill out already.” I rolled my eyes. It was a nasty habit, and she obviously didn’t appreciate it.

“You’ve just earned yourself an extra fifteen minutes Miss Wilson.” She spat, moving to her desk at the front of the room. Joe and I watched as she slid fluidly into her seat, doing nothing but keep her eyes on us. Her gaze swept the room like that of a surveillance camera, frowning at any uncomfortable shift and scratch we made in our seats.

In a desperate attempt to block her out of my mind, I pulled out a word search from my music applications in the media class and started circling the words with the dull tip of my pencil. Mrs. Simmons tapped her pen inconsistently on her desk surface - and I could still feel her eyes on me. We sat that way for an hour, the silence nearly deafening. I looked up at the clock. I still had forty five minutes to go, Joe only thirty. The loud knock on the door disrupted my anxious thoughts, and we all turned our attention to see who was waiting outside the window that peered into each room.

A boy of about fifteen with short, curly brown hair was waiting outside. Joe looked from him back to Mrs. Simmons, who looked bothered by the disturbance in her solitary confinement style detention. She gave a single wave of her finger, allowing the boy in. He creaked the door open slowly, taking in the setting of drawn curtains and dim lighting. It was growing dark outside with an approaching storm, and the windows poured in seldom rays of sun among the puddles of clouds.

He had a piece of yellow paper in his hand, a pass of some sort. His eyes swept over my face briefly, then moved to Joe’s - who he nodded to. I took in his presence in a quick once over. He was wearing black jeans, a light blue button down shirt and a long brown leather jacket. I suspected he was related to Joe in some way. They had the same brown eyes and sense of style, yet there was something obviously different in their personalities.

“What is it?” Mrs. Simmons asked, holding her hand out for the boy to give her the paper he held.

“I’m Nick, Joe’s brother. He’s been given a pass by Provost McNevin to leave detention early.” He said, not a hint of doubt or fear in his voice. I was a bit impressed.

Mrs. Simmons’ eyes scanned the loopy writing of the provost’s note covering the small paper. She looked displeased, but defeated. “Very well. Joseph, you may leave.”

Joe was out of his seat in near seconds, his messenger back full of books over his shoulder. He and his brother walked up the long aisle in between the desk rows, Joe giving me a small shrug on his way out. I pretended not to see, keeping my eyes on the mass of words on my paper. Famous kid gets out of detention, figures. Nick gave me a nod as well on his way out, and then they were gone. The door closed silently, and Mrs. Simmons and I were alone. I looked at the clock again. Only ten more minutes to go. For such a long detention, time seemed to be moving more quickly then I had expected.

It was near four that I would be free, and that meant I would make it just in time to meet with Meris and Sawyer at Starbucks like we did every Thursday after school. There was a small rumble of thunder outside and I sighed, resting my head in my hands. My stomach grumbled a bit in hunger, my mind thinking over all the things I wanted once I got to the small coffee shop around the block. There was a small sound of pattering, and it started to sprinkle lightly outside. I had a mixed feeling on the weather. It meant I got to stall at Starbucks later, meaning I would be later than usual coming home. That, indeed, was a major plus.

“Miss. Wilson,” Mrs. Simons’ voice interrupted my hungered thoughts - my head snapping up to meet her gaze.

“Yes?” I said, my voice a bit snobby.

“Did you know who that man was that was in this room before you and Joseph?” She asked. I raised an eyebrow at the somewhat random question.

“Nope.” I said with a shrug.

She stood up, her hands behind her back as she walked over to me. Her appearance was that of a criminal in a bad daytime soap opera. She had on a knee length black pencil skirt and a white blouse, a pair of silver nine west heels on her feet with a match silver loop around necklace. Her red hair, hinting at a few grey strands, was in a tight ballet bun on top of her head. She must have been fairly young, but the way she presented herself made her seem old and withered.

“That man,” She emphasized. “Was Marshall Danvers. He’s one of the best crime scene investigators in the country.”

My heart skipped a beat. I knew where this was going. How did she know? How could she possibly find out? I felt myself getting nervous. I had kept my mouth shut, what was she going to do to me? The thoughts buzzed through my head a mile a minute, and I nearly started shaking as she started walking towards me.

“You and I both know that there’s something…curious going on in that household of yours.” She began, her hands flat on the top of my desk as she leaned towards me with a displeased expression on her face. “Wilson. I know that family, I know the dirty deeds and dark history you have. I know your kind of people Raven, and I know what your hiding.”

“Impossible.” I mumbled, standing up and collecting my things even though I still had three minutes of detention left. She stepped in front of me, blocking my path. There was a look of success on her face. She was happy to know she was getting to me. She knew I was nervous, and she knew my secret. My heart jumped into my throat, and I felt …scared.

“Impossible is nothing, Raven.” She said darkly. “Mr. Danvers and I have been in touch of awhile - we’ve been watching you. We know where your mother is, what your father-”

“Don’t you ever speak of my father!” I shouted at her, tension rising in my muscles. My hands clenched into fists at my sides, my eyes threatening with angry tears. I brushed past her, heading towards the door as quickly as I could.

“You can’t run forever Raven!” She shouted after me. “You’ll fall one by one, just like the rest of them!”

I ripped open the door, taking off down the hallway with my heart pounding wildly. My head was pulsating, my long hair swinging back and forth behind me. I needed to get out of here, I needed to get away from her. The lockers seemed like they were moving like blurs in my peripheral vision, yet my feet felt like they were landed in quicksand. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t know, nobody could. There was no way.

Upon arriving at the exit, I slowed my pace to catch my breath. I pushed open the main door, the loud honking and splashes of car tires in puddles returning me to reality. New York City was teeming with life, as always. The rain was pouring heavily now, and I knew I had at least a block to go in order to make it to Starbucks to meet up with Meris and Sawyer on time. Searching my pockets, I didn’t have enough to afford a cab. I sighed. Looked like I was going to be stuck walking after all.

Secret #2 : My family tends to be a touchy subject.

I loved the city, I’m not going to lie. The lights, the music, the theatre. Sometimes you just have to take a day and walk around to take it all in. Today, however - was not one of those days. It was pouring, and frankly I was getting sick of being splashed by every single taxi that drove by. Business men were running down the sidewalks on the cell phones with newspapers held high over their heads and the crowd waiting outside of TRL could be heard screaming up the street.

Being soaked right through all my clothes, I called Meris and Sawyer and told them I would have to skip out on the usual Starbuck run. They weren’t happy about it, but I would rather get home for once and dry off rather than drown in the dirty water jumping out at me from side streets.

My family’s penthouse was located on the corner of 68^th street and 1^st avenue. It had taken me a good ten minutes of walking through the downpour, but I finally made it to the entrance. The doorman gave me an odd look, but held the door open for me anyways as I entered the main lobby.

“Good afternoon Miss Wilson.” The cheerful secretary at the front desk said, her annoying German accent sticking out as it always did.

“Mhmm.” I mumbled back, wringing the water from my hair. I sloshed over to the elevator in my waterlogged converse, pressing the number seven and waiting for the shaft to reach my floor. I tapped my foot impatiently to the beat of the music, pulling my keys from my pocket. Finally after three stops to pick up other people on the way, I made it to my floor.

Jiggling the doorknob a bit, I was surprised to see that it was open already. Usually the only time someone was home at this hour was if my mom had gotten out of work early. The big white door creaked open a bit, and all the lights in the house were turned off. Most of the shades were pulled, making the interior of the house nearly impossible to see.

I slid my tote bag off my shoulder and down onto the floor, flipping a few lights on as I slid off my shoes. I stuck my keys on the small rack by the front door and shut it behind me, curious as to why nobody was around. But my mystery was solved once my mom suddenly appeared from the small office across the apartment. “Mom?” I asked, attempting to pull my arms out of my long sleeved shirt that was nearly cemented to my body. “What are you doing home this early?”

“There was news about your father today.” She said blankly, looking at me for only a second before walking into the kitchen and opening a refrigerator door. My heart stopped in my chest, and I felt a bit nauseous. My parents were divorced, and with good reason. My father’s occupation was…well to put it this way, he didn’t exactly play by everyone else’s rules.

“Oh?” I said, swallowing and slowing sitting down on a stool at the island. She set the carton of milk she had taken out onto the counter, then reached for a mug from a corner cabinet. I watched her every move. Each flex of her arm showed muscle, and she moved fluidly without trying like she used to anymore. Her eyes surveyed my face and our surroundings, old habits I assumed.

“Yes, that’s why I’m home Raven.” She said a bit sternly.

“Apologies.” I said, a bit of fear in my voice. I was deathly afraid of my parents. “But, pardon me for asking so many questions, does this mean we have to move again?” I asked cautiously, old memories flooding into my head of all the times we had moved because of my father.

She shook her head slowly as she poured some hot tea from a screaming kettle into her glass, turning off the stove. “Not yet, anyways. There hasn’t been enough proof to know whether or not he’s of danger to us right now.”

“Does he know where we are?” I asked a bit impatiently.

“Raven, calm yourself.” She said, throwing me a hard look before picking up the milk jug and taking off the cap. I watched as she slowly stirred the silky liquid into the steaming cup - small clouds of fog rising from inside its ceramic walls. “And no, as far as we know - he doesn’t.”

“Just one more thing, though…” I asked, biting my lip. “What was the news exactly? Like, that you had heard about dad.”

She sighed, taking a spoon from the silverware drawer below her waist and slowly putting it into her cup of tea. She turned, opening the fridge door and putting the clear plastic carton back on its shelf. When her arm raised, I caught the glimpse of the long scar across her shoulder. It made me shudder a bit, the story behind it flashing into my head like a photographic memory.

“Apparently someone has found out about our history, and all the things your father and I were involved in.”

I felt my throat tighten, relapsing back to my conversation with Mrs. Simmons today. I suddenly felt a bit dizzy, and leaned over onto the counter a bit. She continued. “They somehow found out everything, Raven.” She said, shaking her head. “Even though you and I are no longer a part of what your father continues to pursue, this person wants all of us dead.”

I didn’t know what to say, so kept my mouth shut and sighed shakily. “So what do we do?” I asked quietly, tucking a piece of my soaking wet hair behind my ear.

She paused, holding the warm cup in her hands. “Pray that they don’t find us.” She said, her voice a mere whisper. With that she walked back into her office, closing the door behind her. I relaxed a bit, since just her very presence made me tense. I tried to get all of her words out of my mind. ‘Pray they don’t find us.’ She had said. My eyes widened. They already had found us. Mrs. Simmons wanted to kill me! My breath quickened, and I felt even more dizzy.
We had kept the secret for so long, everything had been going so smoothly. All we had to do was stay away from my dad and nobody would know we were ever involved... Who knows who else Mrs. Simmons and that Danvers man she had partnered up had told. I grabbed my things and hurried into my room, shutting the door behind me and praying the fear filled thoughts wouldn’t catch up to me.

- the next day at school, Joe’s POV -

“So who was that girl you got stuck with in detention yesterday?” Nick asked me, leaning against the locker beside mine as I dug deep inside it for a paper on guitar chords that I had thrown in the day before.

“Raven something.” I said, my voice echoing I a bit over the metal.

“Wilson?” He asked almost instantly.

“That sounds about right…how would you know?”

“People talk about her, I guess she’s kinda weird.” He shrugged.
“In what sense?” I asked, pulling my head out of the locker with no success of finding the missing paper and slamming the door.

“I guess she stays really secretive about herself. I’ve heard all kinds of rumors that she has this huge family secret. Some kid in my 50s music class said that her dad’s in the mafia.”

“Yeah right,” I said with a laugh.

“Seriously dude, people say some creepy stuff about that chick. Which is weird, cause she doesn’t look the kind of person who’s dad would be some kind of mobster.”

I rolled my eyes. “Are you going to assume every rumor you heard around here is true?”

“No, I was just saying.” He said defensively, tucking his hands in the front of his jeans. The sound of the first bell ended our conversation, and we both said our quick goodbyes before heading in opposite directions to get to class.

As soon as I turned the corner, I slowed my pace. I wasn’t looking forward to Mrs. Simmons’ class - was I? But then I started walking a bit quicker, feeling a bit anxious in a sense. Then Raven caught my eye from across the corridor. She looked a bit shaken, jumpy. Her clothes looked a bit careless, a pair of ripped jeans and a long black sleeved shirt with the words NYC Inferno Soccer on the front. Her long, dark brown hair was in a side braid with her side bangs swooped over her left eye, their blue color jumping out amidst her dark black eyeliner. Although the outfit wasn’t as dressy as everyone else’s, she still looked pretty. I blinked, snapping myself out of my slow motion once over and kept walking.

She didn’t see me, or at least pretended not to. I let her walk in before me - watching to see where she sat. The large crowd on their way into the classroom all scrunched their way through the small doorway, and once i made it in I caught Raven sitting in the desk furthest away from Mrs. Simmons’. I suddenly remembered detention yesterday and felt guilty that I had left her. I slowly made my way over, my hands in my pockets. Her gaze was blank, just staring forward with her hands laid out on the desktop in front of her. “Uhm, hey Raven.” I said as nicely as I could.

She looked up at me, looking surprised. “Hey?”

“Mind if I sit here?” I asked with a shrug.

“I guess not…” She said, scooting over a bit and pulling her bag off the chair beside her that she had been covering. I smiled a bit and slid my Louis messenger bag onto the floor beside one of the legs of the table and plopped down in the chair. I looked over at her, and she was now tapping a pen anxiously on the cool wooden surface. Her eyes flicked to each corner of the room, like she was waiting for someone to jump out at any given moment.

“You okay?” I asked with a small laugh.

“Me? Yeah. Fine, totally fine…” She said, her attention snapping up to Mrs. Simmons’ that was beginning the class. I raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

- Raven’s POV -

I felt completely on edge. Any sudden movements made by anyone in the room made me nearly jump ten feet in the air. Joe knew something was wrong, but there was no way I was going to tell him. I still didn’t understand what his deal was. Everything I did to try and shrug him off only made him come back again asking even more questions or staring at me like he always did. Part of me wished he would just get lost, yet part of me wanted him to stay.

“Okay, class…” Mrs. Simmons started, looking at me for a millisecond. I felt myself freeze, and Joe looked at me with a flash of concern in his brown eyes. “Miss. Wilson, are you going to be alright back there?” She smirked.

“Can I uh, use the lav?” I lied, looking for any excuse I could to get out of the room. I had to drop this class. But there was no way I could, since Bristol-Hillman was strictly against students dropping out of classes because of a dislike of certain teachers. I could just see me in the guidance office now, telling them at Mrs. Simmons wanted to kill me. That would give them a good laugh.

“No, you may not. You’ll have to wait until the end of class.” She said smugly, picking up a piece of chalk from the tray and beginning to write something on the board's green surface. Day number two and I was ready to break for the empire state building and jump off. But then my eyes flicked to Joe for a fraction of a second, and the feeling of hating everything and everyone evaporated.

With each and every look that Mrs. Simmons gave me, it felt like the walls of the classroom were closing in and preparing to swallow me whole. Out of all the places in the world, and all the people inside it - this is where i had ended up. Stuck on the verge of running away from death itself.

Secret #3: I’m running out of way to keep this feeling hidden.

The week dragged by slowly, each day rainy up until the last bell on Friday afternoon. Everyone was antsy in their seats, all grinning to see the rays of sunlight that were beating down through the windowpanes. It was still chilly and cool, but just the site of the sun made it feel like summer again.

My week had been awful to every degree. If you started off with Mrs. Simmons and then me possibly like Joe - that was enough to throw you in stress overload. My foot tapped impatiently at my desk in the witch herself’s classroom. The arrows on the clock just couldn’t seem to move quick enough. I had to get out of here, but I didn’t know where I wanted to go. Home was certainly no option, since I was scared that one of these days I would walk in and my mom would have half the house packed up and would tell me we were moving to somewhere like South Africa.

My mind was reeling again, keeping my head down so I didn’t catch Mrs. Simmons’ evil glare. I was abruptly knocked out of my thoughts when a small, triangular piece of paper smacked me upside the head. It landed with a soft thump on the ground, and I looked around to see if there was any evidence of who had thrown it. Everyone seemed to be completely engrossed in something else, so I slowly bent over and picked it up.

My name was writing in scratchy hand writing across the front, a boys I supposed. I slowly unfolded the paper, it crinkling loudly in the dead silence of the room. I winced, but nobody seemed to be paying any attention to me. On the inside was a small note, ‘Pinkberry @ 3?’ it read on the inside. I raised an eyebrow, looking up again to see Joe grinning at me from his place across the room. I smiled a bit, biting my lip and giving a soft shrug. He pouted his bottom lip out and I sighed. ‘Fine.’ I mouthed in return. He smiled, obviously proud of his small victory.

The final bell rang, making me jump a little. Everyone flew from their seats and out of the classroom within seconds, and I was left to slowly collect my things. Joe was at my desk in seconds. “Hey.” He said brightly.

“Hi Joe.” I said as cheery as I could, even though it sounded pretty dull.

“Oh come on, you got to get more excited than that. I mean come on, it’s Pinkberry.” He teased.

“Might I ask why you’re asking me to go get ice cream with you after school?” I asked, sliding my bag onto my shoulder as we walked out into the crowded halls.

“I heard things about you, it made me intrigued.” He said simply, sliding his hands in his pockets as we made our way towards my locker.

“Trust me, there’s nothing you need to be intrigued about.” I said, stopping at the bright green metal door and spinning the lock around a few times before it popped open with ease.

“Is your dad really a vampire?” He asked abruptly.

“Vampires? That’s a new one…” I said, rolling my eyes and dumping my books into my locker.

“So it’s true?”

“No, Joseph, I do not come from a family of vampires…” I said, slamming the door and walking with him towards the exit.

“Then what’s the big deal? Why is everyone so like, obsessed with you?”

“I’ve been wondering the same thing.” I said dully, pushing open the large door that led outside. I was instantly blinded by the unexpected sunlight - shielding my eyes with my hands. The conversation was dropped as we walked down 5^th avenue towards Pinkberry that was located on the corner. We talked about school, our classes, some of the weird kids in our grades and some of the musical geniuses. He asked me if I was going to the fall talent show, and I said no.

“You’re no fun, you know that?” He teased, holding the door to Pinkberry open for me.

“I’ve been told.” I grinned back in response. We grabbed a table off to the side, thinking about our order before we decided to go up.

“But what is the big deal, though. With your dad, I mean? What’s there to be so secretive about?” He asked precariously.

“I…can’t tell you.” I said, picking at a lose string on my sleeve.

“How bad could it be?” He offered with a shrug.

“Worse than you could imagine.” I mumbled under my breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay then, what about your mom? Is she someone that you block off from your entire social circle as well?”

“When you put it that way you make it sound like I’m some kind of antisocial emo kid.” I said with an eye roll and a small laugh. “And my parents are divorced, so she’s fine.” I shrugged.

“I got it.” He said. “You’re dad is the owner of some kind of super embarrassing company. Like, one that makes pooper scoopers or something and you just don’t want to tell anyone.”

I laughed. “No, he’s not.”

“Then tell me! Come on, I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

“Joe, I barely know you. I can’t just randomly tell someone I don’t know something as big as that.” I said, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.

He shrugged. “Hey, at least I tried. And maybe the whole reason I asked you to come here with me was so that I could get to know you better. Ever think about that?”

His statement took me a back a bit, and at first I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Why would you want to get to know me? I mean, haven’t you heard all the crazy rumors…” I asked.

“I don’t believe in rumors, I prefer for people to speak for themselves.” He said simply.

“That’s a first.” I said with a nervous laugh. “And a nice one, too.”

He smiled, giving me a small nod. “There’s something about you Raven. Something…different.”

“You don’t want to get to know me though.” I said a bit quietly.

“Why’s that?” He asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

“Joe, my family, they’re dangerous. I could never involve you in something like this…” I said nervously.

“Raven it can’t be that bad-” He began, but we were interrupted by the sound of my cell phone ringing in my pocket.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” I said, seeing my mom’s name flashing on the caller id. “Hello?”

“Raven? Oh thank god I got a hold of you…” She began, sounding like she was out of breath.

“Mom? What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling panicky. The only times my mom would freak out like this was if it involved my father doing something dangerous…

“Those people, the ones going after our family, they’ve been spying on us Raven. They know where you are, honey they’ve sent people out to kill you while you’re out in the city!” She said hysterically.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. That can’t be possible. Mom, nobody‘s tried to pull something like this on a Wilson family in years! It can‘t be that bad, can it?” I said, my voice shaking a bit. This couldn’t be happening know. The Wilson killings were something that happened in the sixties, but the family that had turned against us was dead. Right?

Suddenly there was a loud crash and the sound of glass shattering, and I looked to see a giant eighteen wheeler smashing through the front of Pinkberry. It all looked like it was happening in slow motion, and i felt frozen in time. People started screaming, and I dropped my phone - staring wide eyed at the oncoming vehicle.

“Raven? Raven!” My mom’s voice came hysterically through the phone that was lying on the seat. Suddenly I felt some grab my legs, yanking me down underneath the table and pulling me under their arms. I could feel the glass falling on top of us, the table being pushed back a bit under the trucks weight.

“We’re coming for you Raven Wilson!” Someone’s voice rang over a megaphone, coming from the direction of the truck above us. “You can run but you can‘t hide!”

Secret #4 - The Wilson Family has something to hide, but someone wants us dead before its exposed.

I felt my heart rate accelerating as the sound of debris falling and people around me shouting grow louder. Sirens were coming in from the distance, and my body was shaking with fear. “Raven.” I heard a voice say my name. Suddenly reality hit me, Joe pulling me under the table, the truck smashing through the window, her voice laughing shrilly above the sound shattering glass. It gave me chills. “Raven, look at me - are you okay?” He asked.

“Fine, a little bruised - but I’m okay.” I said, the obvious look of fear written all over my face.

“Come on, let’s get out of here - but please be careful…” He said, crawling in front of me out from underneath the table that had been crushed on top of us. It took a few minutes, but we finally moved enough chairs, broken tables and glass out of the way to get to the surface.

The scene from the crash was like that out of an action movie. The eighteen wheeler was halfway inside Pinkberry, smoke rising from the small fire that had started. People were slowly rising from the ruble, holding onto each other and crying. Paramedics were carrying people out on stretchers, and firemen searching through the disaster. I crossed my arms over my chest, sighing shakily. I felt like I was trapped inside a movie, the villains chasing after me while I was running out of places to hide. The villains. I froze.

“Joe, we have to get out of here.” I said quickly, grabbing his hand and climbing over piles of building around us. Looking over at him, I saw that his face was cut up and covered in dirt. He was bloodier than I was, holding his arm a bit as he followed me.

“Raven what’s going on? Who were those people?” He asked as we finally escaped out onto the street, pushing through the crowd of bystanders and out onto the sidewalks.

“Nothing, it was nobody. A freak accident, no big deal.” I said quickly, keeping my gaze down as we headed towards my penthouse up the street.

“Please Raven,” He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Something’s going on, why were they looking for you like that?”

“Joe, please just … give me some time okay? All this is happening so fast…” My voice trailed off.

“I’m scared for you.” He said softly, touching my arm gently as we walked.

“Don’t be, this is my burden to bare.”

“But I want to help-”

“There’s nothing you can do, okay?” I shouted, whirling around and stopping in front of him. “This is my problem, and if someone wants to chase me around the city trying to kill me - so be it. Last thing I need to do is get you involved. I’m the last person you should be caring about.”

“I know,” He sighed. “Look, Raven, please just listen to me.” He said, grabbing my arm before I could walk away. “I know I shouldn’t care, and I should take your word for this and run…but I can’t.”

“I’m too dangerous Joe, you can’t be near me…it’s not safe.” I said quietly.

“I’m not sure why, but I’m willing to take the risk. There’s something about you, Raven, that I can’t stay away from. I don’t know what it is yet, but I’m hoping to find out.” He said with a weak smile, his eyes sparkling amidst the dust covering his face.

I sighed a bit in defeat, biting my lip. “Come on, let’s get to my place and get cleaned up.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on then?” He asked a bit hopefully.

“Don’t push it.” I said with a weak smile, jogging through traffic to the entrance of my building with Joe following not far behind. We hurried upstairs, not bothering to take the elevator.

“We have to take the stairs all the way up to the fourteenth floor?” Joe asked with a moan, his shoulders sinking.

“There’s cameras in the elevators.”

“So?”

“Just come on…” I said, shaking my head and hurrying up the first of many flights of stairs. It took awhile, but we slowly made our way down the hallway to my door. Both of us were out of breath, and I searched my pockets to find my house key was missing. Sighing in frustration, I figured it must have fallen out of my pocket during the crash. My hand was only inches from the door to knock when my mother threw it open, tackling me before I even had a chance to blink.

“Thank god you’re okay.” She said, her voice it’s usual tone even though you could tell she was trying to pull the expected worried mother act on me. She let go of my shoulders, her stance returning to its tall and intimidating form. “Who’s your friend?” She asked, giving Joe a once over.

“Mom, this is Joe Jonas - Joe this is my mom. He uh, saved me from getting hit by that truck earlier. I figured I could at least do the liberty of helping him with all his injuries…”

“Sure, let’s go.” She said abruptly, looking both ways into the hallway for any sign of someone coming our way or listening and before pulling us both inside and locking the door.

The scene inside was uncomforting, like being trapped in a horror film. All the curtains were pulled, and most of our belongings were piled into boxes in the living room.

“What- no. No mom, we can’t move again!” I said, my eyes widening at the site of the maps on the table and the packaging wrap laid out on the kithchen floor.

“We can and we are.” She said sternly. “We can’t put you in anymore danger like this, especially when you’ve so stupidly involved someone else.” She threw an icy look at Joe, which caused him to bite his lip and look away. My mom had that effect on people.

I scowled. “Mom we can’t keep running like this!”

“Who’re you to say such a thing you inconsiderate child! I’m putting my own life in danger protecting you from that monster and now all of a sudden you’re going to stand up to me?” She fired back. My mother had zero patience for anyone debating against her thoughts or opinions. Sanding up to her was a big deal, and usually left the opponent cowering in fear.

“I’m sick of hiding, mom! I’m sick and tired of playing this stupid game when we know that dad’s only going to find us again. And now we don’t have just him chasing after us, we have his little arch nemesis’s smashing trucks through buildings to try and get me! We can’t escape them much longer!”

“What’re we supposed to do, just give in? I think not!” She growled, her eyes narrowing. “Maybe I should just hand you over to them now, since apparently it’s you they’re all after! I have no need to even be a part of this!” She shrieked, a look of disgust on her face that i was still fighting back.

“Be my guest! If it saves your butt, that will be all that matters, right?" I asked harshly, "All you ever think of is yourself! If you and dad hadn’t divorced, none of this would be happening. If you hadn’t been his spy and gotten yourself captured, then you wouldn’t be so tense all the time! Maybe you would actually treat me like a daughter rather than a prisoner!”

“Get out! I’ve had it! Get out you worthless child!” She stalked towards me, smacking me hard across the face, her ring leaving a deep gash in my cheek. I looked over at Joe, who looked stunned.

“Come on Joe,” I mumbled, heading towards the door. “Let’s get out of here…”

"You better run Raven, they'll have you soon enough!" My mother shouted after me, hurling a lamp at the wall - causing it to shatter in all directions.

Joe and I hurried out of the room, and I s;ammed the door loudly behind me. I leaned against the wall in the hallway, sliding down it slowly and putting my head in my hands. “I’m gonna lose it…” I said shakily, feeling my body numbing with fear.

“Raven what is she talking about?” Joe asked softly, kneeling down beside me. “Your father and someone else want to kill you? How can that be possible…?”

“Please just - I’ll tell you everything, I promise okay? Let’s just…get out of here.” I breathed, standing up slowly and walking towards the stairs.

Secret #5 - my mother and i aren't exactly on the best of terms.

Every movement on the street, whether it be someone sneezing or the ring of a cell phone, caused me to freeze in my place. Joe was watching me like a hawk, trying to figure me out no doubt. I kept my arms crossed firmly across my chest, feeling like I had a giant red target on my forehead. We were stopped at a crosswalk, waiting for the small light to flash green allowing us to walk. I felt hands on my shoulders, and relaxed slightly. It was Joe.

“You really need to chill out, you know.” He said softly, looking down at me with his big brown eyes. I turned away.

“I can’t. There’s no time.” I said a bit bitterly, biting my lip and stepping down off the sidewalk to cross the busy street. His hands slid off my shoulders, and he followed behind - jogging slightly to keep up with my anxious pace.

“Come on.” He sighed, waving his hand for me to follow him down a side street. “Our place is this way.”

I nodded slowly, letting him take the lead. After a few minutes of walking in an awkward silence, we arrived at a tall, expensive looking building. “Wow.” I said, looking up the side of the building and watching the sunlight reflect off each pane of the never-ending lines of windows.

“We don’t know how long we’re staying here, but I think our parents were thinking of buying a floor or something so we can have a place in the city.” He said with a shrug, nodding in thanks to the doorman that let us inside.

“Sounds tolerable.” I said a bit sarcastically, wiping my feet off quickly on the antique looking rug. We walked across the lobby, the only sounds echoing from inside the great walls were that of low voices and cell phone vibrations.

“I manage.” He smiled, gesturing for me to step inside the elevator before him on our way up to his floor.

“Are your brothers home?” I asked curiously, trying to sound casual.

“They should be,” He said simply, searching his pockets for his key. “Ah here we go.” He smiled, pulling it from his jeans and taking a step forward as the double doors slid open.

I said nothing and watched him turn the shiny piece of metal in the lock, the door clicking open with ease. “Well here we are, home.” He smiled, walking inside and closing the door behind me.

The inside was incredible. The walls were an array of colors, each aspect of the rooms significantly more modern then the next. The ceiling was black with white patterns, the carpet its contrast. Different kinds of lights in all different colors were arranged in odd places about the structure, spilling a rainbow of color onto the hard texture of the walls. There was a long countertop with multiple, brightly colored stools that went a good twelve feet down the side of the kitchen and a large disco ball was sparkling in the tall cutaway section of the ceiling.

“This is incredible.” I breathed, spotting the light up dance floor on a raised section of the living room that was placed in front of a long row of floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the city.

“Thanks,” A voice said from behind me. Out of what appeared to be nowhere, Kevin Jonas swung around me and into the kitchen - taking a bite out of an apple and heading towards the fridge.

“This is our place.” Joe started, following Kevin and catching the orange G2 that was thrown his way. “Our parents have the floor above us, since they knew we’d make a ton of noise.” He grinned, hopping up onto the counter. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“A bit." A nervous laugh escaping. "I feel like I’m in some kind of Hollywood club of some sort.” I said, feeling dazed.

“See, I told you someone would catch on to the idea.” A third voice entered my senses, and Nick walked in - scrolling through something on his iphone. “We modeled it after this place called Onyx in L.A. It was my idea.” He added.

Joe rolled his eyes, sliding down off the counter - winching slightly. “Ouch.” He said, setting his drink down and rolling up his sleeve.

“What the heck happened to you?” Kevin asked, a look of concern spreading about his features when he spotted Joe’s wound from the accident.

“I should be finding out soon enough,” Joe’s glance turned to me, and I frowned slightly.

“Did you guys hear about that accident at Pinkberry?” Nick asked, sliding down into the stool beside the one I was standing next to. “I guess some eighteen wheeler smashed right through the place.”

“Funny story-” Joe began sarcastically.

“Aha, yeah, real funny. Come on Joe let’s uh - go find the bathroom.” I said, pulling him away from Nick and Kevin and walking down a random hallway to avoid the oncoming conversation.

“You promised, remember?” Joe said, sliding his arm free of my grasp and opening a door to reveal a large, marble bathroom.

“I know,” I sighed, sitting down onto the closed toilet seat and biting my lip as I kept my gaze on the floor. I glanced up slightly, seeing Joe walking over to close the door before returning to the halfway open medicine cabinet that was spilling over with gaze and band aids.

“So talk.” He said simply, running a piece of gauze under the faucet and slowly wiping the blood from his cut.

I looked up for a quick second, catching my reflection in the mirror before turning away as immediately as possible. My reflection was something that frightened me, I could never seem to just look at myself without feeling like I was to blame for everything that had been occurring throughout my life. I wasn’t going to tell him everything, and of course not the secret. Well maybe not, I might tell him bits and pieces.

“I suppose I should start at the beginning,” I sighed shakily. “My parents were never married, since they said it would interfere with their careers. My mother was an international spy for the English government, always getting into information from foreign countries on money, war, etc. My father was -” I stopped short, reminding myself not to give too much away. “Well, his job was a bit - more extreme. But over time, strict tensions formed between my mother and him during a case involving a suspicion of terrorism from my dad’s side of the family.

“My mother was assigned to spy on them, and she brought me along with her to avoid anyone suspecting her. My father had no idea of the case, since he was told we were vacationing in the Bahamas for the time we were away on her mission. During the time we were in Iceland, where his family resides, my father developed a strange…obsession. I had always been his little girl, sure, but there was something else. Being away from me was like being stripped of a drug to an addict. He became mental, wanting his daughter more than anything.

“Once he found out we had been gone, he and my mother got into a … skirmish if you will.” I said, leaving many, many major details out. I was already giving him the thirty second story, and was pretty proud of myself out of how many things I was leaving out so it didn’t sound half as bad as it really was. “From there three groups formed. There was International Intelligence, my mother’s side - which is the where her family and all the other spies and administrators focus on …dealing with my father and his family’s suspected plots. Peningar Kort Laug, which is Icelandic for Money Map Hotspot, or PKL as they call themselves - is my father’s side. Their main goal is to capture me so I can be returned to my father and kill off International Intelligence so they no longer pose a threat to them. I have no idea if the terrorism rumors are true or where they are planned for, but i'd rather stay out of it more than anything. My father scares the living daylight out of me.” I sighed, glancing up at Joe. He was wrapping a bandage around his bicep, but obviously listening intently.

“It wasn’t until this year that the third group came about. The Emoluments, they're called. They aren't on either side, but seek to eliminate the problem the other two are faced with completely. They fear that our two groups are near war and plan to keep the general public safe. Nobody else in the world knows about this except the few thousand directly involved, and the whole thing is kept strictly secretive.” I finished, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and looking up at him.

“So today,” He began, a look of deep thought on his head. “Who were those people?”

“Mrs. Simmons and some guy named Mr. Danvers that she’s been doing business with. They’re part of the Emoluments.” I said, leaning back in my seat. “I know the whole thing sounds completely stupid like its some kind of bad action movie but I swear I’m not making this up.”

“No, no.” Joe said, leaning against the counter and studying me. “I believe you, I really do. I just had no idea that it was something this…huge.”

“You have no idea.” I mumbled. “But you have to promise you won’t tell anyone.” I said quickly, nearly jumping out of my seat at the realization of all that I had just told him.

“Don’t worry, you can trust me.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. And from over his shoulder, a spotted something. Looking up into the back corner of the hallway leading into the bathroom, there was a video camera pointing right at us. On it’s side, the Emolument symbol.

Secret #6 - sometimes telling the truth isn’t always a good thing.

I felt my breath get caught in my throat as I nearly threw myself at the opposing wall in order to escape Joe’s arms. He looked at me with concern, tilting his head slightly so his dark brown hair covered one eye. “What?” He asked curiously. I could feel myself shaking like crazy, tightening my arms around my chest in hopes of finding security in their feeling.

“Did uh, anyone happen to be in here while you guys were gone today?” I asked nervously, my eyes darting around the rest of the room.

“Well Kevin was telling me that someone from this security system place was coming over to install some sensors on the doors and windows so nobody would try to break in or whatever. Why?”

“I have to go.” I said quickly, hurrying out the bathroom door and down the long hallway into the large living space in the middle of the penthouse.

“Raven - wait.” Joe said, reaching out to grab my arm as I tried to run away from him. “Did I say something?”

“No, I did.” I said quietly, still shaking with fear. “Can’t tell, never say anything.” My voice was so quiet that I could barely hear it, my mother’s words echoing in my mind about the sole secrecy I was sworn to. The memories from international intelligence traitors and their death penalties for breaking the promises flooded my mind, and my eyes widened in fear. “Oh my god, what have I done!” I started crying uncontrollably, never having felt so scared in my life.

All of these years of building up the different sides, the secrets and plots. It had all been terminated in a matter of seconds. I had told Joe, the Emoluments had seen and heard everything. They would report me to PKL to avoid getting involved with the paperwork involved with international intelligence, my father would be disgusted with my behavior and kill me out of his best interest. Or if my mother got word of the news…I didn’t even want to think about it. All the different kinds of scenarios and punishments were buzzing through my head, making me feel like I was about to collapse.

I felt warmth, and Joe’s arms were wrapped around me as I buried my head in his shoulder. “Raven it’ll be okay, really. Relax…” He said quietly, letting go a bit and wiping the tears from my eyes. “I won’t letting anything happen to you, I promise. Now will you please tell me what you saw?”

“Camera, in the hallway.” I said, pointing at the small device mounted on the wall about thirty feet away.

“What about it?” He asked curiously.

“Where’s Kevin?” I asked before answering the question.

“Someone say my name?” Kevin’s voice came as he appeared from behind the entertainment center, a group of wires in his hands.

“Who installed the security system?” I asked, pulling the sleeves of my sweatshirt down over my hands.

“I don’t know, some guy was going around giving out free trials or something. Mr. Dodge or Daily…something like that.” He said with a shrug. “He screwed up all these wires though.” He added with a frown.

“Danvers?” I asked, my breath caught in my lungs again. I secretly crossed my fingers hoping he would say no, praying that the symbol had just been an illusion.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Kevin said with a nod, pulling at a chord that made half the lights in the room turn off. “Whoops.” He chuckled. “I think we need dad to come over and fix this.”

“Excuse me.” I squeaked quietly, walking down the hallway towards the camera - dragging a stool behind me from the long bar like counter in the kitchen. I put it underneath the camera and climbed up on it, studying its design. I had picked up on a lot of hints on how to distinguish Emolument and PKL materials while working with my mom, and this camera was without a doubt Emolument.

Feeling angry, I flipped off the camera before grabbing onto it with both hands and ripping it down. The chords sparked slightly, hanging off the wall once they were unattached from their power source. Nick appeared from the door below me, looking up in confusion. “What in the world are you doing?” He asked. I said nothing, but hopped down from the stool and dragged it noisily across the hard wood floor back into the kitchen.

“Raven, why did you just rip that camera off the wall?” Joe asked boredly.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, walking over to him with the broken camera in my hand. “See this?” I asked, turning the small machine on it’s side to reveal the complex green design. “This is the Emolument symbol. That Mr. Danvers man that came by today must have heard from Mrs. Simmons I was hanging around with you and sent him here to install cameras to spy on all of you!” I whispered harshly, afraid of any other kinds of sensors that might be around.

“Emo-what?” Nick asked, perplexed. “What the heck is she talking about?”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked, taking it cautiously in his hands and looking it over. I just glared at him. “Okay, so you are. Does this mean that there’s other stuff hidden around here too?”

“Most likely.” I sighed, sinking down onto the couch. “Cameras, voice recorders... They want to know everything about everyone I hang around with…” My voice trailed off. “I can’t be near you anymore, it’s putting you in too much danger.” I said abruptly, standing up and walking towards the door.

“Raven, please. What’s the worst that could happen?” Joe asked, stepping in front of the door to block my path. He leaned against it- his arms crossed.

“Please Joe, I really am sorry. I should have never involved you, it’s too much-”

“I’m willing to take the risk.” He said quietly, smiling at me.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not worth it - trust me. Joe, these people could kill you if it meant getting to me. You have enough insanity in your life right now, you don’t need to involve yourself in something like this…” I said quickly, my voice nervous.

“Raven,” He said, his voice making me silent immediately. “I’m not afraid, I want to help.”

“Why?” I asked, my eyes meeting his deep brown ones. I felt myself get lost in them for a second, but pulled myself out immediately. I couldn’t like him, it would just make things that much worse.

“I’m not quite sure just yet,” He smiled, touching the side of my face lightly - making my heart melt. Something about his touch made everything just fade, and for once made me feel like there was a chance that everything really could be okay.

“I’m starving, anyone want to head out for Chinese?” Kevin asked, giving up on the mess of chords behind the tv and walking over to us.

“I’m in.” Nick’s voice called from down the hall.

“I’m not really dressed for going out anywhere…” I said, biting my lip and looking down at my torn clothes that were covered with dirt and blood from the accident.

“We can always stop by your place before we go.” Kevin offered with a shrug, heading into the kitchen to wash his hands. “You wouldn’t believe how dusty it is behind that thing.” He said, shaking his head.

“Well that’s the other thing…” I began, remembering how my mother had kicked me out. She was most likely already on a plane back to International Intelligence headquarters in Romania, leaving the entire penthouse empty without a single word to me before she left. My family wasn’t very big on goodbyes. “My mom kind of kicked me out and left the country, my house is a big empty piece of cement and wood at the moment.” I sighed, pulling out my cell phone and dialing the house number. “And of course, the phone’s disconnected. Wonderful.”

“That sucks.” Nick said, walking in and wrapping a tie around his neck. “Anything we can do to help?”

“I suppose you could bring me to my friend Meris’s house, she’ll help me out.” I shrugged, running out of options.

“But you’re still going out to eat with us, right?” Joe asked hopefully.

“If you really want me to…”

“Good, I’ll give you a ride over now.” He smiled, grabbing a pair of car keys off the counter and walking over to the front door and holding it open for me. The two of us walked down the stairs instead of taking the elevator the main lobby and went out the back door to the parking lot. I scanned the long rows of similar looking cars, wondering which one Joe was going to stop at.

He pressed a small button on the remote attached to the keys in his hand, the lights of a black Cadillac escalade lighting up a few rows down. We walked in silence to the car, the only sound coming from our feet in the small puddles on the pavement and our breath rising in clouds in front of our faces. We both got inside, Joe starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot into the noisy New York City traffic.

“So where am I headed?” He asked, stopping at a red light as a flood of people started to cross.

“49^th and Madison.” I said, looking out at all the taillights of the cars around us. It made me wonder if any of them were emoluments. Or huge Jonas Brothers fans for that matter. Sometimes I forgot Joe was this macho superstar.

“So what do you think we should do about all that spy stuff in our house?” Joe asked me after a small awkward silence.

I shrugged. “Call someone to remove it, I don’t want them finding out anymore about you or what I’ve said to you. They’re getting more and more information each second, and it’s like a gold mine to them.” I sighed shakily, sinking down in my seat.

He nodded. “I’m scared for you.” He said quietly.

“Don’t be, please. This is my problem - I’ll deal with it. I don’t want to put you guys in any more danger-”

“Don’t worry about me, Nick or Kevin, really. Nothing will happen to us…it’s you I’m worried about.”

“I’ll be fine.” I said in a voice as stable as I could, trying to reassure myself with the statement.

“You don’t always have to be so tough you know,” He said, slowing to a stop in front of Meris’s house.

I looked over at him, my eyes sad. “I don’t know as though I have much of a choice.”

“I’ll always be here for you, Raven. Know that.” He said, watching me as I stepped out of the car.

“Thank you.” I said quietly.

“I’ll pick you up back here at seven? You can bring your friends if you’d like.” He smiled.

“See you later,” I smiled back, getting that warm feeling in my stomach again whenever he smiled at me like that. I took a deep breath and watched him drive away, turning on my heel and walking up the stairs to Meris’s front door.

Secret #7 - Maybe having Joe around won’t be such a bad thing after all.

“What in the world happened to you?” Meris said as soon as the front door opened and her pale blue eyes landed on me.

“It’s a long story…” I sighed, tugging nervously at strand of my dark brown hair.

“Get in,” She said simply, propping the door open and letting me inside. I mumbled a brief thanks and wandered into her home, entering the beautiful front foyer. Both of Meris’s parents were well known lawyers in the city and had invested much of their time and money in their home, which was a magnificent recreation of an early 1900s mansion.

I still felt like I was in a time warp every now and then when I walked inside. But today I had too much on my mind to stop to admire, I had barely any time to even think in general. “Sawyer’s over, we were thinking over some ideas for the fall festival next Friday.” Meris said with a smile over her shoulder as we both walked swiftly up the marble spiral staircase.

“Oh, cool.” I said absent mindedly, feeling like all the pictures that lined the halls were staring me down. It gave me chills.

“Raven? Hey.” Sawyer said with a smile, looking up from the issue of Vogue on her lap when I entered Meris’s Paris themed room. The blinding white walls and bright purple and silver accents made me feel almost blinded when I walked in.

“Hey.” I said softly, collapsing onto one of the many bean bag chairs scattered about the room.

“Uh-uh, not in those dirty clothes you don’t - off.” Meris said, snapping her fingers at me and pointing me away from the furniture. I rolled my eyes and slowly got up.

“What’re you, a victim from a scene in Cloverfield?” Sawyer said with a small laugh, picking a Hershey kiss out of the small candy dish on Meris’s nightstand.

“Haha.” I said, pulling off my destroyed sweatshirt. “I just had a bit of an unfortunate run in with a tractor trailer truck, no big deal.” I said sarcastically.

“No way,” Sawyer said, slapping the magazine closed and looking up with interest. “Were you in Pinkberry when there was that monster crash?”

“Yeah.” I sighed, figuring it was better to be somewhat honest then to just beat around the whole situation. I hadn’t seen them in a few hours, and apparently a lot can happen in that amount of time.

“I heard somebody got killed.” Meris chimed in, pulling her blonde hair up into a messy bun.

“No way, it wasn’t that bad of a crash to kill someone.” Sawyer said, rolling her eyes.

“Did you see the place? That thing plowed through Pinkberry! Whoever was sitting at those first few tables was truck bait.”

“My mom talked with a cop on her way home from work and she said that he said that it wasn’t a deadly accident.”

“Well you weren’t there so you never know-”

“Guys!” I interrupted, standing in the middle of the room with my arms crossed. “Can we please talk about this later? I need a shower and some clothes.”

“Oh, yeah, sure thing Raven. Sorry.” Meris said, hurrying over to her closet and yanking the doors open to reveal three ten foot long racks of clothes. “Take whatever you want, all these things are part of outfits I’ve already worn.” She said, waving her hand nonchalantly.

“God forbid Meris wears the same thing twice.” Sawyer mumbled, shaking the auburn hair from her eyes and crossing her legs.

“Thanks Meris.” I said, making sure I put my two words in before another debate erupted between the two. Scanning the long lines of clothes, it took me a few minutes to make a choice. Part of me just wanted to grab a trash bag and take everything - but I kept myself calm.

“Hey - we called your house earlier and it said the line was disconnected.” Sawyer said as I pulled a pair of bright blue skinny jeans from a hanger.

“Oh yeah I forgot to tell you that,” Meris said. “We wanted to ask you to hang out tonight and your cell went to voicemail and your house was disconnected.”

“I just said that.” Sawyer piped in.

“I know I was just-”

“Yeah I know the phone was disconnected. My mom kicked me out of the house and fled the country.” I said with a straight face, holding up two different tops and comparing them to see how they would go with the jeans. Meris burst out laughing.

“No seriously, why was your phone disconnected?” She asked.

“I was being serious. My mom got wicked pissed at me and kicked me out of the house and decided to go back to Romania to-” I bit my tongue and searched my mind for a quick excuse. “-to meet this guy she met on this online dating site.”

“Online dating? Who knew Mrs. Wilson was an internet babe?” Sawyer snorted, folding the corner of one of the pages in Vogue and tossing it onto the floor.

“I know right?” Meris said with a small giggle. “But kicking you out and just taking off like that in a matter of hours seems a bit…drastic.”

“Well you know how intense her mom is all the time.” Sawyer said, waving a hand at me. “She kinda scares me, I’m not gonna lie.”

“I feel like I should empty my pockets and go through some kind of metal detector whenever I walk inside your house, Ray.” Meris said with a smile.

“Definitely.” Sawyer said with a small laugh. “So wait. If your mom just took off like that, where’re you staying now?”

I shrugged, tossing my outfit of choice over my shoulder and opening Meris’s bedroom door. “I don’t know, hopefully somewhere.”

“Well you can always stay at my place?” Sawyer suggested with a shrug. “Matt just took off for Notre Dame and won’t be back until November. You can have his room.” She grinned, obviously ecstatic about the thought of her older brother being gone to college.

“I’ll think about it.” I said with a smile, walking out of the room and heading down the hall to the bathroom to take a shower.

I headed back to where my friends were half an hour later, my hair up in a towel and Meris’s borrowed outfit upon me. I yawned, completely exhausted from the out of control day I was having. In reality, I just wanted to lay down and sleep, forgetting about everything that had happened. Then I would just wake up and realize that this was all just a bad dream. The end. But that thought was quickly abandoned when I felt someone smack my arm. “Ouch, hey!” I said, touching my bicep gingerly.

“I’ve had to pee forever and you took eternity in the bathroom!” Meris complained, doing a little dance.

“Then go! Don’t stand here beating me for it.” I said with a weak laugh, rolling my eyes as she took off down the hallway before slamming the bathroom door in Sawyer’s face.

“Ughh, Meris!” She banged on the door, “I need to get in there!”

“Why, to check your eyeliner?” I teased, unscrewing the cap to a small bottle of Meris’s Chanel cover-up and applying small dabs on my face. I caught the reflection of her ihome in the mirror and saw that I still had forty five minutes until Nick, Joe and Kevin showed up.

“Don’t poke fun - or else you’ll have nowhere to sleep tonight.” She grinned, turning on her heel and walking back into the bedroom. “So…what’re you getting all dolled up for?”

“Oh I almost forgot!” I exclaimed, setting the small glass container down.

“Forgot what?” Meris asked, walking in and closing the bedroom door behind her - an eyelash curler in her hand. “I’ve been looking everywhere for this…” She tossed it on her vanity and plopped down on the bed beside Sawyer, looking at me.

“Well I was with Joe after school…” I began.

“Care to clarify?” Sawyer interrupted.

“Yeah I mean there’s Joe Hook, Joe Sanders, Joe Holmes-” Meris became counting off on her fingers.

“Joe Holmes? He’s in my biology class.” Sawyer chimed in.

“Dude, he’s so hot.”

“I know! Did you see-”

“Anyways…” I continued. “No, none in our grade. It was Joe uh - Jonas.” I hesitated.

“Shut. Up.” Sawyer said, her hand smacking across Meris as though to restrain herself.

“Jonas as in brothers? As in the only band I’ve been obsessed with for like - two years!?” Meris squealed, slapping her hands over her mouth.

“Shh, let her continue.” Sawyer said, a wide grin spreading on her face.

“So we went to Pinkberry after school-”

“Joe was in the accident too? Oh my god is he okay?!” Sawyer cried, her face near horror stricken.

“Joe is fine. He got a pretty bad cut, but he’s gonna make it.” I said, rolling my eyes. “So I went back to their place for a bit, and then Joe dropped me off here-”

“Is there a point to this story or are you just trying to make us jealous?” Meris interrupted, sticking up her pointer finger as though it was her cue to speak.

“Yes, Meris there’s a point. If you let me continue for fifteen more second you’ll find out…” I said, taking the towel out of my hair and running my hands through it. “So he dropped me off, and said that when Kevin asked me to go out with them for Chinese tonight that I could bring some friends-”

“I’m a friend!” Sawyer nearly screamed, shooting from her seat. “Oh my god I’m a friend. Can I go? Please, please, please!” She put her hands together, dropping to her knees at my feet.

I laughed. “Of course, both of you can go. I just wanted to ask and see if you were interested.” I shrugged.

“You even had to ask? Oh my god Sawyer! The Jonas Brothers!” Meris screamed, linking arms with Sawyer and dancing around in a circle. “Raven I love you for ever and eternity and always and oh my god I love you.” She said, talking a mile a minute and throwing her arms around my neck.

“Meris - can’t. Breathe.” I choked, tugging at her arms.

“Sorry,” She said, biting her lip and letting go of me immediately.

“Dinner with the Jonas Brothers. Tonight.” Sawyer sighed, falling backwards onto the bed and staring at the ceiling. “Tonight.” She repeated, sitting up quickly. “When are they coming over?”

I glanced over at the clock. “Half an hour.”

“I call bathroom!” Sawyer shouted, sprinting down the hallway and slamming the door shut. I just smiled and rolled my eyes, searching through Meris’s drawers for the blow dryer. So it would be one night out with the Jonas Brothers, how much harm could it cause?

Secret #8 - It’s amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile.

“I see headlights!” Sawyer cried for what felt like the millionth time as she stood out on the balcony attached to Meris’s bedroom. The white wooden structure towered above the streets below, giving anyone at the same level a bird’s eye view of the world below. Meris and I were still inside, adding last minute touches to make ourselves look picture perfect for the boys. I felt pretty stupid, since I usually wasn’t one to doll up for guys. But something about tonight made me excited to see Joe again. My heart fluttered at the thought.

“Sawyer, you’ve said that thirty seven times already.” Meris complained, pulling open the bottom drawer of her vanity and sifting through numerous containers of eye shadow.

“Ugh, it was the neighbors. But I seriously thought it was them that time.” Sawyer complained.

“That’s what you said about the last thirty six, since the one pair of headlights that went by that we knew wasn’t them was a dump truck.” Meris muttered. I suppressed a laugh, blowing on my electric green nails to make sure that they were completely dry.

“Do I look too dressy? Like - you know - like I tried too hard?” I asked Meris, biting my lip and looking in her full length mirror attached to the back of her door. I was wearing bright blue skinny jeans, black converse sneakers, a zebra print studded belt and a black long sleeve shirt. My hair was in a bouncy side ponytail that hung loosely over my right shoulder, and a long silver necklace with a tiny clock as its pendant hung around my neck.

“You look like Flava Flav.” Sawyer laughed, walking back inside and closing the French doors behind her - obviously giving up on the Jonas watch she had been on for the last twenty minutes. It was only 7:12, so it wasn’t like they were extremely late.

“Shut up,” I whined. “Seriously guys, I want to make a good impression.”

“You’ve already met them, you’re the last one that needs to make an impression.” Sawyer said, squirting some American Eagle perfume on her neck. “But you look cute.” She said with a warm smile.

“Thanks, so do you.” I grinned. “You too, Meris.” I added.

Suddenly there was the sound of loud and harsh chiming, almost like a century year old clock ringing loudly throughout the house.

“What in the world is that sound?” Sawyer asked, putting her hands over her ears.

“We uh - had a little mishap with our doorbell and the sound chords got kinda screwed up. We’re waiting for it to be fixed.” Meris said with a weak laugh. “Wait. The doorbell? AH!”

I smiled, rolling my eyes playfully as the two of them nearly killed each other running out the door and flying down the stairs to the foyer. I took my time waiting to go downstairs with them, since I wanted to avoid seeing their reactions once they saw one of the boys at the door. There was a loud sound of wind blowing, which usually came whenever Meris ripped open her ten ton front door, and then the sound of excited chatter.

The voices downstairs were too low to hear the words directly, but I could tell it was Kevin who had come to greet us before we all departed. I felt somewhat guilty since none of the boys knew who my friends were ; but I figured that had already been established in the mile a minute voice my friends were talking in. I sprayed on some of Meris’s Vera Wang perfume and headed down the stairs, Kevin, Meris and Sawyer coming into view below me.

“And there’s our third party member,” Kevin said with a grin, twirling his car keys around in his hand. “Are we ready to go ladies?”

Meris and Sawyer nodded eagerly, looking as though they were about to pass out at Kevin’s feet. I laughed quietly to myself at the thought of what would happen when they saw Nick and Joe. Meris had a thing for Nick ever since she saw the boys opening for a Jesse McCartney concert way back when. Ever since then it had been Nick Jonas 24/7. It was only a matter of time before fate slammed the two of them together. Sawyer on the other hand didn’t really have a ‘favorite’ brother. She had always thought as Joe as super funny and cute, and Kevin the adorable, romantic one. Nick was obviously off limits, so she kept her distance.

Once we got out of the house and onto the front steps we were blasted with the cold fall breeze. It must have been fifty five degrees out, give or take the wind chill. All of us hurried down to Kevin’s Cadillac Escalade, it’s sleek shape nearly blending into the darkness around it. The windows were rolled down only a crack at the top, and the loud sound of music was blasting loudly inside. I caught two shadows easily visible inside with Joe in the last row of seats in the back and Nick in the second row of seats behind the driver. Nearing the car, Joe’s voice could be heard loud and clear as he was singing along to the music loudly.

“I call shotgun!” Sawyer shouted, jogging to the front seat of the car. Sawyer usually felt kinda carsick if she wasn’t sitting in the front, and with the added nerves of being this close to the Jonas Brothers was probably an added factor.

“I get back.” I said with a small laugh, opening the second door beside Sawyer’s and folded down the backseat so I could hop into the third row with Joe.

“Well then I suppose that leaves me in the middle.” Meris said with a smile, rolling her eyes and climbing inside. When her eyes landed on Nick, she looked back at me and smiled widely - patting her chest quickly to show how fast her heart was beating. I laughed, kicking the back of her seat lightly.

“I don’t believe in fairy tales, too cynical. Everybody stop and stare - I let it go.” Joe sang loudly to the incredibly loud music. “I’m not gonna live forever, gotta make it now or never. Forever or never.” He was dancing around in his seat and just being his usual, crazy self. It made me feel at peace, like I didn’t have to worry about the other half of my dangerous life. It was like I could just relax for once and not have to worry about anything bad happening. Little did I know, I was speaking too soon.

“Cinema Bizarre huh?” I smiled after the song had ended.

“You know who they are?” Joe asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I’m pretty big into some German rock. Cinema Bizarre, Tokio Hotel…it’s good stuff.” I shrugged with a smile.

“Joe tends to listen to weird music.” Nick said over his shoulder, smiling and rolling his eyes at his brother.

“You listen to weird music.” I shot back at Nick with a laugh, even though the comeback didn’t make much sense. Nick rolled his eyes in return, turning his attention back to Meris and their conversation.

“You are officially my new favorite person.” Joe laughed, grinning at me. I felt my cheeks turn hot and looked away.

“So uh,” I went to ask Joe once the conversations between the other four had picked up so they weren’t listening to us. “Did you guys take care of all the cameras and stuff yet?” I asked, biting my lip.

Joe sighed. “No, not yet. We found all the main cameras, but there’s still some sound stuff wired in the walls. We couldn’t get anyone to come over and take it down tonight, and we can’t exactly tell our parents we’re being spied on…”

I groaned, letting my head fall against the back of the seat. “This is so awful.”

“Raven, don’t worry about it.” Joe chuckled. “Everything’s going to be fine. Let’s just try to forget about it and have a good time tonight, okay?” He said softly, touching the side of my face. I felt my stomach erupt in butterflies, but nodded slowly as his brown eyes pulled me under. I had to blink a few times to get myself to come back to reality.

“We’re here.” Kevin sing-songed, pulling the keys out of the ignition and opening his car door. All of a soon followed, jogging towards the entrance to avoid any spur of the moment fan attacks. Not to mention it was practically freezing outside.

The boys had wisely chosen a table in the back of the large, open restaurant - keeping all of us away from the large crowd that had filled the building tonight. We all filed into our seats eagerly, looking forward to a laid back night of good food and enjoying each others company. I knew I should be more excited, but something in the back of my mind told me that this wasn’t going to be safe. Going out in public with the Jonas Brothers again - not to mention my friends - after what had just happened that afternoon could put all of them in danger.

“You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Joe said quietly into my ear to avoid anyone else catching my brief look of terror. I shook myself out of it quickly.

“Fine, yeah just - thinking.” I said, running my hand through my hair as the waiter came over and set down the menus in front of us.

“If you want to take a break and get some fresh air or anything, let me know.” He said with a smile, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Thanks.” I said quietly, biting my lip in a smile.

The night went smoothly from then on, all of us exchanging all kinds of crazy stories as we sat around the large table - indulging ourselves in some of New York’s finest Chinese food. Sawyer told everyone a story about how she slipped and fell on the stairs at the mall one time, and nobody really thought it was funny until Joe started laughing and all of us joined in. The boys had all kinds of crazy memories to share from their tours as well as fan encounters and falling on stage. It seemed like being a bit klutzy wasn’t something we all didn’t have in common.

“Hey, look at those two.” Sawyer said, elbowing my side and pointing at Nick and Meris across the table. I smiled, shaking my head. Meris was flirting with Nick like crazy, her cheeks flushing pink every now and again - which caused Nick to laugh. And to my somewhat surprise, it looked like Nick was flirting back.

“Wow, didn’t see that coming.” I said sarcastically, smiling at Sawyer.

“Well she’s only been in love with him for what, two years now?” She laughed, throwing a fortune cookie at Meris’s head.

“Ow, hey!” Meris laughed, picking the small cracker up off the table and pulling it out of it’s packaging. “Let’s see what my fortune is, since apparently this cookie here fell from the gods.” She said sarcastically. I giggled but Sawyer just rolled her eyes.

“Watch it say something stupid like ‘your life will change instantly as you will feel the sudden urge to become a figure skater’” Kevin said dramatically, causing us all to laugh.

“Well my lucky numbers are 13, 4, 6 and 28...” She read, slowly flipping the paper over. “And my fortune says ‘beware of the eleventh hour as a new danger will come your way’. Well that sounds rather eerie.” She shrugged. “It’s just a load of made up crap anyways.” She said, crumpling the small piece of paper up and tossing it into Nick’s soda.

“Thanks.” He smiled.

“Anytime.” She grinned in return. “Speaking of time - What time is it anyways?”

Joe looked up at the neon clock on the wall, squinting to read the numbers. “9:30.” He said.

“I say we head out of here and go dancing.” Kevin said, dancing around in his seat.

“Ugh, after all that food I don’t think I can even walk.” Meris said, sinking back in her seat a bit and holding her stomach.

“Who’s up for ice cream?” Nick asked.

“Me!” Meris said eagerly, raising her hand in the air. We all laughed.

“Anyone else?” He surveyed, his brown eyes scanning the rest of the faces about the table. All of us exchanged glances and shrugged, figuring there was no reason not to go.

“Where do you plan on going? Pinkberry has been reduced to rubble in case you haven’t noticed.” Sawyer chimed in, twirling her fork around in the noodles on her plate.

“Good point.” Nick said, tapping his chin.

“Oh, I know! What about Friendly’s?” Meris offered with a shrug.

“What’s that?” Joe asked curiously, now interested in the conversation.

“Only the best ice cream place ever, obviously.” Meris said dully, rolling her eyes. I laughed quietly, shaking my head.

“I’m up for anything.” I said with a shrug. “Wherever you guys want to go, I’ll go.”

“Friendly’s it is then.” Kevin smiled, standing up and paying the check as we all headed out of the restaurant and back to the car. It was a short drive, but Joe didn’t let the time go to waste to blast some more of his music as loudly as possible. This time it was something all of us knew pretty well, can I get get get by Junior Senior. It was nearly ten o’clock by now, but in the city that never sleeps - making noise on the streets wasn’t something unusual.

We pulled into the nearly vacant parking lot of the little ice cream store on the corner, everyone in the car nearly jumping out as soon as the car slowed to a stop. “This has officially been thee best day ever.” Sawyer said with a satisfied sigh, leaning her head back and looking up at the stars as we crossed the parking lot.

“You could say that again.” Meris grinned in return, linking arms with Nick as we walked. I smiled at her, and she simply shrugged. Everyone walked inside, the small bell on the door ringing a few times with the movement of all of us entering. I stopped on the sidewalk in front of the small building, hearing a faint ringing in my pocket.

“You coming?” Joe asked, looking over his shoulder at me.

“Yeah, one sec - someone’s calling me.” I said, a bit confused as to who would be contacting me. I didn’t recognize the number on the caller ID, and all the different numbers on the long address put me under the impression that it was an international call. I felt myself get a little nervous.

“Hello?” I asked, flipping my phone open.

“Hello my dear, it’s been far too long.” A deep, husky voice came over the line. I felt myself go ridged, the phone feeling cemented in my hand. My entire body felt numb - and an apparent look of horror crossed my features.

“Raven what’s wrong? Who is it?” Joe asked, walking a bit closer to me.

I choked a bit, breathing a bit heavily to get the words in my mind to leave my lips. “My father.”

Secret #9: impossible is nothing, especially when fear is added into the equation.

“My darling, Raven - how’ve you been?” My father’s voice drifted over the phone line like lava, each word burning holes in my heart as I took it in. My mind was moving a million miles a minute, and I couldn’t find it in me to respond. I started to feel my knees weakening, tears filling my eyes. But I couldn’t lose it. Not here and not now.

I didn’t dare show any signs of weakness in front of Joe. But in truth, whenever my father called it almost always meant something bad. I tried to remain positive, thinking maybe he just wanted to call to say hello. But the thought evaporated quickly - my father was never one for pleasant conversation.

“I’m just peachy.” I replied sourly.

“Hope you weren’t hurt too badly in that little mishap at Pinkberry this afternoon, I just wanted to make sure I got my point across - even if it meant fraternizing with the enemy.” He said simply as though nearly sending me to my death was an everyday occurrence.

“What’s he saying?” Joe mouthed to me. I put my finger to my lips and clicked a button on the side of my phone, setting it to speaker.

“Yeah, and getting the Emoluments to spy on my friends was a wonderfully kind thing to do as well.” I said, my hand shaking ever so slightly with nerves. There was a slight awkward pause as I waited for my father to respond, my quick breaths rising in clouds above my face.

“You discovered the cameras, hm? Smart little girl.” He said, apparently surprised I had found out.

“You’re going to have to try harder next time.” I said bluntly. There was a pause.

“Raven take me off speaker phone.” He ordered abruptly, causing me to flinch slightly. I sighed, biting my lip and clicking the speaker off and putting the phone to my ear. I turned my back to Joe and walked a bit further down the crowded sidewalk to avoid any more eavesdropping on my conversation. I didn’t want Joe to think there was any more danger than there already was, so I peeked over my shoulder to make sure he was out of my view - disappearing into the schools of people passing by.

“What do you want?” I asked a bit harshly.

He chucked. “Now, now Raven. That’s no way to talk to your father.”

“I’ll speak to you however I want.” I mumbled.

“Come again?” He asked, his voice pleasant as though there were no problems at all.

“Nothing father.” I sighed.

“That’s what I thought. Now, regarding that footage I collected from Paul, Nicholas and Joseph’s home - I feel the need to express my opinion on how I do not approve of their character.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, biting my lip with the nerves of where this conversation was going.

“They’re too demanded, so many of those irritating obsessive fans, bubblegum pop music and overly eccentric personalities. Honestly Raven. Of all people, you had to chose to hang around with one of those boy band punks? Have I taught you nothing?” His fluid like voice flowed over the phone. I could almost picture him sitting in his office as he spoke, tapping a pencil absent mindedly as he leaned back in his chair like this was the most casual conversation he’d ever had.

“It was wrong for you to spy.” I muttered, sitting down on the stoop of a large Burberry storefront to avoid getting shoved around by irritated pedestrians as I wandered.

“Wrong or right, in case you’ve forgotten I can do whatever I please. I control you after all.” He said, pure satisfaction apparent in his words.

“What do you want from me?” I asked a bit helplessly. “What were you working with the Emoluments for anyways?”

“I learned that one of them was going to be in close contact with you, and I couldn’t resist the temptation to keep a close eye on my beloved daughter now could I? Plus once they take down that god-awful intelligence foolishness or whatever your mother is involved in - then I can take down the Emoluments myself. Working with them is simply temporary as they pose no threat to me.”

“Hmph.” I said, taking in the valuable information. “What does Joe have to do with any of this?”

“Well since I look at you as my apprentice-”

“Dad I’ve told you ten million times that I’m not joining your stupid little gang!” I hissed.

“Shut your mouth, we’ve had this discussion. You were born into this society, and with me as your boss you will do as I say. You know the rules dear child. Disobey your master and I take your life.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat as all the harsh International Intelligence and PKL horror stories flooded in my mind. I had, in fact, been born into this world and had little chance of getting out alive. I had to take a side, and it wasn’t looking like taking one other than my father’s was going to be an option. He was obsessed with me in the most unhealthy way possible, and would kill me out his best interest if I didn’t obey his every word. I shivered at the thought of the death I would be sentenced to if I dared to push him away.

“What is it you want me to do?” I asked quietly.

“Much better darling, I knew you’d come around.” He said fluidly, the sinister grin a vivid image in my mind as I slowly closed my eyes and exhaled shakily - waiting for him to speak.

“Those Jonas boys had been an irritant to me for as long as I can remember, and all this surveillance has showed me that you’ve taken an interest in spending time with them. I want the one your interested in, Joseph is it? I want him dead.”

“What?!” I choked, my breath caught in my lungs. “No, dad please - you can’t kill him…”

“Well of course I can’t, that’s why I’m having you do it.” He said calmly.

“Me?” I squeaked, feeling my eyes automatically watering as I started shaking slightly. “W-why?”

“No boy deserves the all too valuable prize of my daughter.”

“But we’re not even dating, we’re just friends!” I argued.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you Raven, and I’m disgusted. He’ll use you, get you pregnant or commit some other kind of obscene crime of the sort and dump you off like you’re a piece of tissue paper. I simply will not allow it.”

“Bur he’s not like that!”

“Stop arguing Raven, my commands have been issued.” He said icily, the authority in his voice making me shut my mouth immediately.

“Apologies father.” I said shakily, feeling like each breath was a jagged blade in my throat.

“Forgiven. Now, you have until midnight on Halloween to have that worthless piece of flesh stone cold or else I’m sending the Emoluments after you where you will be reported back to me. Understood?”

“Yes.”

“Please believe that issuing a fate such as death to you would be most unpleasant, so take care of my orders and we shall have no problems. And don’t you even dare think of telling anyone about our little plan, Raven. Dismissed.” He said, the line going dead. I closed my phone slowly, tucking it back in my pocket and crossing my arms.

Defeated, my gaze lowered down and I made my way back to the small ice cream parlor my friends were at. It took everything I had to keep my composure, and with each step I took I felt like I was distancing myself even more from the ones I loved.
“Raven? Oh there you are,” Joe’s voice came as his bright brown eyes appeared among the blurry faces of the crowd. “Everything okay?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” I said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and leaning into his shoulder.

“What did your dad want?” He asked a bit cautiously.

“Nothing, just to uh - you know. Say hello.” I said with a shrug, avoiding looking into his eyes directly as I lied. I had always been a good liar with all the years of practice I had from hiding all these things from my friends. But after that conversation, I felt like I was losing it.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” He asked after a brief silence. His finger under my chin, he lifted my head so I was looking at him.

“No.” I sighed. “Let’s just uh, go get some ice cream?” I said, trying as hard as I could to make my voice sounds calm and happy.

“Sure thing,” He smiled, putting his arm around me and kissing the top of my head. I closed my eyes for a quick second, the image of Joe’s dead body flashing in my mind. I shuddered slightly but shook it off - clutching onto his shirt as we walked inside, afraid to ever let him go.

Secret #10 : There’s no such thing as a happy ending.

So much had happened in just one day. The accident at Pinkberry, my mom leaving, the discovery of the cameras at the Jonas’s penthouse and my father’s phone call…when those twenty four hours had finally passed I was afraid to even dream of what would happen in the day to come.

It was Friday. The last day of school before the weekend. The air outside was chilly, and the leaves slowly fell off the trees and began to cover the grassy yards of Central Park. I was walking to school alone, getting up and leaving Meris’s house an hour before she even woke up to avoid even speaking to her. I needed some time to think, and taking the long way to school through the park seemed like one of the only ways to clear my head.

I blew on the steaming cup of hot chocolate in my hand and continued walking, my destroyed jeans tucked firmly into my ugg boots to keep my feet warm. My navy blue jacket was buttoned all the way up and a bright red scarf was wrapped around my neck. My tote bag was looped around my shoulder, putting pressure on my left side from the weight of the books I was carrying.

“Raven! Raven, hey!” A voice came from behind me. I turned around to see Nick Jonas walking towards me with a golden retriever puppy on a leash, Nick himself bundled up against the cold as well.

“Oh, hey Nick.” I said with a weak smile, taking a sip of my drink and burning my tongue. I winced a bit, but he didn’t seem to notice. “What’s up?” I asked casually.

“Not much, just taking Elvis here for a walk.” He grinned, kneeling down to pet the dogs head as he panted and wagged his tail with glee. I couldn’t help but smile in return.

“He’s cute.”

“16^th birthday present.” Nick said with a laugh. “I love this little guy.”

“I can tell.” I said with a smile and a nod.

“So what’re you walking around the park by yourself for?” He asked, standing back up and brushing some blonde hairs from his jacket sleeve that had come off the dog.

“Just uh - wanted to get something to drink before school started and you know, not bother Meris.” I offered with a shrug, my grip tightening slightly around the Starbucks cup in my hands.

“Speaking of Meris…” Nick said a bit nervously, pulling off an invisible hair as he spoke to avoid looking directly at me.

“Let me guess, you like her.” I said blandly.

“Is it that obvious?” He asked, biting his lip. I shrugged in response. He sighed. “Does she have a boyfriend?”

“Meris? Nope. She’s been single for a while ever since she got out of this bad relationship last year.” I said, pushing the lid down on my cup even though I didn’t need to. Meris’s bad breakup wasn’t something any of us ever talked about. “She likes you too though.”

“Really?” He asked with a smile. I nodded. “Can you do me a favor then?”

“Depends.” I shrugged.

“Ask her if she might maybe, want to grab something to eat with me after school?” He suggested, pulling back on Elvis’s leash as he had started barking at a nearby squirrel.

“Come on now Nick, you’re a big boy.” I teased. “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

“I don’t want to come on too strong…”

“Nick.” I interrupted. “Trust me, there is no way she’ll think you’re coming on too strong. Ask her out after school and the only thing you’ll have to worry about is having your eardrums broken by her screams.” I said with a small laugh, knowing Meris was going to kill me for having said that.

“Alright, maybe I will then.” Nick smiled. “But I better get going, don’t want to be late to homeroom again. I’ll see you around Raven.” He said with a small wave before tugging Elvis a bit and making his way back up the sidewalk towards the exit of the park. I sighed a bit, my breath rising in a thin cloud above my head. Looking down at my watch, I saw that I still had forty five minutes until I needed to be in school for homeroom. The building was a five minute walk from here, so I still had plenty of time to kill. No pun intended.

I was starting to think that this whole ‘being along with my thoughts’ idea wasn‘t one of my best plans. I was overanalyzing everything, each tiny phrase and sentence that had my dad had said was burned into my skull like a scar. There had to be some sort of loop hole to this horror movie I had been thrust into. There was no way I could kill Joe, I would much rather die myself.

But if I died, I knew Joe would try to do something stupid to try and get revenge on my father. He just seemed like that kind of person who always wanted to be the hero. And if he dared to go against my father, he would have not only Joe killed - but his entire family, friends : anyone that could possibly have ever been associated with him. I couldn’t let that happen. The more and more I looked at it, it was looking like killing Joe was the only way to handle this.

I stood up and threw my full cup of hot chocolate in the trash, not having much of an appetite anymore. If killing Joe was the only way to save his family and not only his friends but mine as well, then I would have to do it. But I couldn’t spend any more time with him. I couldn’t let myself fall for him anymore than I already had. I would have to do something to make myself hate him. Something that would make me want to kill him. But what? I sighed shakily and crossed my arms, giving up and walking towards the school.

The halls were fairly crowded once I got inside the warm, heated building that was Bristol Hillman Music Conservatory. Loud chatter could be heard amongst my classmates, as well as the sound of music playing in each classroom I passed. I felt incredibly out of place as I made my way through the small groups of people that cluttered the narrow corridors. Like I had already killed someone, and everyone around me knew it. Their stares burned holes in my back, and I could feel myself on the verge of a mental breakdown.

I sighed shakily once again, my breath seeming impossible to retrieve successfully this morning. I walked quickly over to my locker and spun the lock a few times, pulling on the handle - but having no luck. I felt myself growing agitated, just hating the entire world. “Stupid, worthless piece of metal.” I pounded on the metal door, leaning my forehead and forearms against it as I started crying.

“Hey, easy, easy.” I heard someone’s soothing voice say, their hands lightly around my waist as they pulled me away from the locker. I looked up through blurry eyes to see Joe, a look of concern on his face. “Raven, what’s wrong?”

“Everything.” I mumbled, wiping my eyes with my sleeve to avoid him seeing me crying. “Everything’s-” I started to say, ready to just lie like I always had. But I couldn’t. No words seemed to leave my throat, only tears started to fall.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here…” He said softly, taking my hand and leading me from the crowded halls where I had gained an audience from my small breakdown. I just wanted to throw something at all of them, scream, swear - do something to get all this anger out of my body. I felt like I was going to burst into flames, fall apart. I just wanted to die. Have a heart attack, start bleeding uncontrollably, drive myself into a tree and waste away with the flames - something, anything to free myself of this nightmare.

We walked into a small, abandoned classroom and Joe closed the door behind us quietly. I just stood in the middle of the room, my arms crossed firmly across my chest as silent tears flowed down my cheeks - landing soundlessly on the old, wooden floorboards. Joe walked over to me, reaching to touch the side of my face - but I turned away. Just the way he had grabbed me in the hall made my heart implode. I was disgusted with myself for letting any of this happen, getting him involved…but I couldn’t find it in myself to just walk away.

“Raven, what’s wrong?” He asked again softly, hoisting himself up onto the top of one of the desks in the room.

“I can’t tell you.” I said quietly, wiping the tears from my eyes and avoiding even looking at him.

“Raven please, I promise I won’t tell anyone. Is it something I did?” There was a pleading tone in his voice, and it killed me to hear it. This made my start to cry harder, my hands covering my eyes as my shoulders rose and fell. I shook my head, going blind with the amount of tears escaping. Joe wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my head in his shoulder. We stayed like that for a few minutes until I finally found my voice again and the tears stopped coming.

“Was it your dad?” He asked quietly. I nodded, tightening my arms around him. In a few weeks, I would never be able to do this again. I would never hear his voice, see his bright brown eyes, feel his arms around me…he would be nothing but stone. I closed my eyes and a vision of him dead blew through my head. Him lying on the floor in a tuxedo, blood covering his face. My eyes flew open and I jumped out of his arms, gasping and my hands flying over my mouth in shock.

“What is it?” He asked, a desperate look of confusion about his features.

“I have to go.” I said quickly, wiping my eyes and grabbing my bag before quickly leaving the room and slamming the door behind me. I leaned against it for a brief second, looking in to see him still standing there with a disappointed look on his face. I swallowed the rock in my throat and adjusted my bag on my shoulder and headed through the vacant halls towards my class. Finishing this day successfully was looking like a steep feat.

The morning trudged on painfully slow, and I was unable to keep my focus at all. I failed a biology test and did horrible on a quiz on Francis Scott Key in music history. I was just sitting through each class, my entire body like stone. Nobody seemed to notice me anymore since I said nothing - and my breath was barely even audible. After four classes, it was finally time for lunch. Half the day was over and then it would finally be the weekend.

But after lunch I had Mrs. Simmons’s to deal with and on top of that, Joe was in my class. Mrs. Simmons’s, without a doubt, would be tuned in on my dad’s plan to have me kill Joe. After all, she was one of the people who ratted on me for hanging out with him in the first place and got those stupid cameras put in their house. If I was already subject to kill, maybe I would go after her first. I smirked slightly at the thought.

“Raven! I’ve been looking for you all morning!” Meris shrieked, nearly throwing herself into the chair beside me in the cafeteria.

“Well you found me,” I said dully, no noticeable emotion in my voice. I kept my gaze down, picking at the sprinkles on the small cupcake I had gotten for lunch. I wasn’t planning on eating it, but it made it look like I was actually trying to force something down.

“No need to look so excited.” Sawyer said with a laugh, sliding down into the seat on my right with a bag from Wendy’s. “Meris here has some very exciting news.” She grinned, opening the bag and pulling out a French fry. I already knew what it was about since I had talked to Nick this morning - but I kept my rude comments to myself, no matter how pessimistic I was feeling today.

“What’s the exciting news?” I asked dully.

“Nick asked me to go out to dinner with him after school!” She squealed, jumping up and down and clapping her hands.

“That’s great, Mer.” I said with a weak smile, standing up as being around all this food was making me feel sick.

“Wha-where’re you going? Don’t you want to hear the story?!” She asked, giving me the puppy dog pout.

“Maybe later, I’m just not feeling too well.” I sighed shakily, crossing my arms. “I think I’m just gonna head home early.”

“Awe, okay. Feel better!” Sawyer said.

“Are you gonna eat that?” Meris asked, pointing at the orange frosted cupcake.

“No, take it.” I said with a small smile. “I’ll uh, see you guys later.”

I made my way out of the cafeteria and out into the halls - heading towards the office so I could sign myself out. I didn’t know what my problem was, but there was no way I was going to put up with the she-devil herself after lunch after the day I was already having.

I ideally just wanted to go home and sleep, but I knew that nightmares would come instantaneously. Every time I blinked, some kind of horrid scene flashed into my head. All of which had been involving Joe’s death. There was only one way to solve this situation. If I was going to kill Joe, then I was going to be killing myself right along with him.

Secret #11: my life is turning into a sick modern twist of Romeo and Juliet.

It was times like these that I really, really wished that my mother hadn’t fled the country and sold our apartment within three hours. I just wanted to be alone. And with the current situation; that was proving to be impossible. Anywhere I went I was surrounded by Meris, Sawyer, Nick, Joe or Kevin. They would hound me with questions, do anything to try and make me feel better…but they didn’t understand. Nobody did. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my friends. And I was starting to think I loved Joe too.

But I couldn’t let myself get anymore attached to any of them, it would only make things worse. In only a few short weeks, I would be doing something unforgivable. I couldn’t live with their emotional baggage in the days that were slowly wasting away.

I was walking slowly down the crowded New York City sidewalk, my hands in my pockets as I kicked up the leaves around me. Every few seconds I would bump shoulders with someone, my own mistake for not paying attention to where I was going. But I didn’t care. I wanted to just disappear into the crowds, feel invisible. My cell phone buzzing in my pocket broke me free of my misery filled daydreams, and it took all I had to even speak into it.

“Hello.” I said dully, my voice heavy with sadness.

“It’s about time! I’ve only tried calling you about seven times already.” Sawyer said with an annoyed sigh. I took my phone from my ear and glanced at my screen, seeing that it did indeed read I had six new voicemails and seven missed calls.

“Sorry, I was…busy.” I said, biting my lip. “What’s up?”

“Meris and I need to know if you’re planning on going to the Halloween Ball.” She said desperately.

“What happened to the fall festival thing you guys were planning yesterday?” I asked, brushing some of the hair from my eyes as I walked.

“Oh, we changed our minds. Plus we wanted to do something more festive.” She said excitedly. “It’s going to be so much fun! We have so many ideas and-”

“Sawyer, I’m not going.” I interrupted.

“What? Why?” She asked sadly.

“I … can’t.” I said, not able to find a reasonable excuse.

“Oh come on, Joe’s going!” She prodded.

“Sawyer I-”

“Great! We’ll pick you up at the Daily Grind in ten to go dress shopping!” She squealed. I sighed in defeat. I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this. In truth, I kind of did want to go in a way. I had transferred schools so many times that I had never had the chance to go to an actual formal school function. But on Halloween? I shuddered at the thought.

“Okay but-”

“See you in a few!” She said cheerfully, the line going dead. I frowned slightly, closing my phone and tucking it back into my pocket. I turned on my heel and started walking down 5^th avenue towards the Daily Grind coffee shop located on the corner. I was literally just walking towards it when I was honked at and saw Meris and Sawyer waving at me from a bright yellow taxi that was slowly pulling over onto the side of the road.

“Hey!” Meris said brightly as I slid inside, rubbing my hands together for warmth.

“Hey.” I said with a nod.

“What’s your deal, you’ve been so…depressed the past few days.” Sawyer said, pulling a tube of lip-gloss out of her giant coach tote and popping open a compact mirror as she studied her reflection and smoothed the liquid over her lips. I simply shrugged in response.

“Well a night out with the girls should do just the trick!” Meris grinned, elbowing me playfully.

“Let’s go, G.N.O.” Sawyer sang with a laugh. I just rolled my eyes and slid down in my seat. I hated being the rain cloud, but I just couldn’t find it in myself to be happy. After all, the dress I would be picking out tonight would be the one I would be dropped six feet under in. I shivered slightly.

“So I was thinking that we would hit Chanel, Burberry, Nine West, Macy’s and probably everywhere else…” Sawyer said, counting off on her fingers.

“Guys, I don’t really have the funds for a designer dress at the moment.” I said, biting my lip and tugging on a piece on my pin straight, chestnut hair.

“No worries, we’ve got you covered.” Meris winked.

“I couldn’t let you guys do that for me…”

“Too late - here.” Sawyer said, digging a few hundreds out of her wallet and stuffing them in my hand. “You deserve it.” I smiled in thanks, still feeling incredibly guilty.

We shopped for a few hours, and each store started to look more and more like the last. I didn’t try on any dresses, I just sat around and watched Meris and Sawyer have their fun. I hadn’t seen anything I really liked, and figured I could always go out again by myself if I wanted to some other time anyways. I wasn’t in any huge rush, but I was pressed for time. The days were counting down, and each minute that passed made me more and more weary.

“Raven, what about this one?” Sawyer asked, shifting through a rack of dresses in Chanel. She pulled out a knee length strapless black dress with a thin, baby blue bow around the waistline.

“It’s cute.” I shrugged.

“Go try it on!” Meris urged, setting down the shoe she had been looking at and pushing me towards the dressing rooms. I groaned in frustration, but took the hanger and walked across the store towards the stalls. I put the dress on quickly and creaked open the dressing room door. Walking out into the rest of the open floored area of the store, I was quickly caught in a mirror.

And there it was. My reflection. The dress was pretty, but I just didn’t feel pretty in it. My butt looked big, as usual, but that was probably me just being paranoid…My eyeliner was smudged in the corners of my eyes and my hair in a messy bun on top of my head. I looked like I hadn’t slept in days, and my arms and legs were almost ghostly pale. It was like the words ‘murderer’ might as well have been written across my forehead. I got chills and felt hot tears running down my cheeks and slowly back into the dressing room.

“So how did it fit?” Sawyer asked eagerly once I caught back up with them on the second floor of the shopping center.

“Fine.” I said, shrugging a bit.

“So are you gonna get it?” Meris chimed in, brushing a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, I think so...” I mumbled, figuring that I might as well just to make them happy.

“Yay! Let’s go check out and then we’ll head down to Ruby Tuesday’s for something to eat.” Meris offered.

“Yum.” Sawyer grinned.

“You guys go ahead. I’ll buy this and then I’m just gonna head home…” I sighed.

“You sure?” Sawyer asked with a small frown.

“Yeah, I’ll meet up with you guys later.” I said with a weak smile and a small wave as I walked up to the register, bought my dress and walked back outside into the frigid fall night air.

The bag on my arm felt like it weighed two hundred pounds, holding me down with guilt, fear, every possible negative emotion there was. The dress was like a realization that this night really was coming, no matter how many times I tried to make it disappear.

Arriving at Meris’ house twenty minutes later, I was surprised to see the downstairs living room light on. Her parents usually didn’t come home until late, and it was only 7:30 now. I shrugged, putting my hand on the doorknob to see with surprise that it was unlocked.

Stepping inside, something didn’t feel right. The air conditioning was blasting, and the house had to be at least thirty degrees. Every single light on the first floor was on, and the smell of green tea drifted through the rooms. I slowly slid off my shoes and let my bag with the dress inside drop to the floor. I walked silently into the kitchen, blinking in shock with what I saw.

Secret #12 : I’ve honestly given up on believing something good could come out of this nightmare.

I felt frozen, like there was no other possible crazy twist that could be pulled on me anymore. Life kept throwing things at me like curveballs in the bottom of the ninth inning of a tie championship game, and all I could do is swing and pray to God that there was some miracle of a chance I would hit them. So I stood there staring like an idiot, searching my mind for words.

“What’re you doing here? This is my friend’s house, you can’t just come barging in here!” I whispered harshly at the shadow in the kitchen. “Hold on a second. You’re supposed to be dead!”

“Raven, you don’t have to whisper. There’s nobody here but me and you.” He chuckled, walking towards me. He had an apple in his hand and was tossing it up and down carelessly, taking a loud bite as his figure slowly moved from the shadows.

It was my brother. He, like many of the other things in my life, was one of the things I kept a secret. Truth was, he wasn’t even supposed to be alive. His name’s Josh, and he’s eighteen. Should be seventeen and buried in the ground under a tombstone. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid. But I was just in such a state of confusion that I didn’t quite know what to think.

“Josh, what the heck are you doing here?” I asked again, leaning against the wall - feeling completely flabbergasted. “Last time I saw you, you were getting pushed down a stairwell in the jail of PKL headquarters at some kind of remote building in Russia ready to be beaten to death because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut!”

“I know what happened, you don’t need to remind me.” He said a bit darkly, his gaze casting down. His deep brown hair fell in front of his eyes, and the way he stood made him look just like Joe. I shuddered.

“Sorry. It’s just…how did you get out?” I asked cautiously.

“When dad found out that I had told my girlfriend, you remember Kasey right?” He asked, utter sadness dripping from his voice. I nodded. “Yeah well, when he found out that I had told Kasey everything - he brought me to PKL Russia where they did executions.” He sighed, picking at a small hole in his jeans. “I was down in the jail for four days, and I broke out of the small window that had been left open. It was six hours before he realized I had escaped, but I was already too far gone to catch. And you know dad, he’ll stop at nothing until he gets his way.”

“So you escaped. From one of dad’s prisons. They should make an action movie about you.” I said with a weak laugh, still just taking in his very presence. All of it seemed so unreal that I was just waiting to blink once and realize all of this had just been one long, twisted dream.

He smiled. “It get’s better. So I ran right? All the way to Italy.”

“Italy? What in the world did you go there for?” I interrupted.

“There’s an Emolument barracks there. Of course he looked to receive their help, but the Emoluments in Italy were too stupid to check right under their noses. So I spent a year enrolled in an Italian catholic school under an alias and was never found. After dad bombed the Emoluments for not meeting his deadline, I hopped a plane in the middle of all the chaos and came here to find you.”

“Wow.” I said, biting my lip. “Things aren’t much better here, though.”

“Don’t tell me dad came after you too?” He groaned. I nodded. “I don’t get it. He says how much he ‘loves’ his children and how wants them to grow up to be 'just like him' and yet he’s always trying to find ways to kill them.” Josh frowned, brushing the hair from his deep brown eyes. He looked so much like Joe that it almost hurt to look at him. “What’s he got planned for you?”

“I started hanging around with one of the Jonas Brothers…”

“Jonas Brothers? Raven!” He said, his voice angry. I was taken a back a little, and looked at him with my eyes narrowed.

“What’s so wrong with that?” I retorted.

“I can’t believe you don’t know…”

“Know what, Josh?”

“Don’t you remember when we lived in New Jersey? Probably not, you were still really little. Whatever. Anyways, we lived in New Jersey for three years before you were born, then five years after that. Long story short, Kevin Jonas senior is the whole reason dad started PKL.”

“What?!” I nearly screamed, slapping my hands over my mouth. “How is that even possible?”

“We all went to the same church, and Mr. Jonas was the pastor. Something happened between dad and him, I don’t remember what it was…” His voice drifted off. “Anyways, they got into this huge fight and dad, being the aggressive guy he is, said he was going to pull away from the church and form one of his own. So he came up with PKL, and it’s more like a cult than a church really. His sole purpose was to show Kevin that his way was better, to show him that he had won the argument and people would agree with his ideas more.”

“Then why didn’t dad just kill him or something?” I asked, my voice empty with shock as I took in all this information.

“All the major details are fuzzy, I’m not even supposed to know about any of this really. But I guess dad got a kick out of having the rivalry and having the supreme power over the Jonas family. Kevin obviously isn’t the competitive type, so he just tried to let it all go. But dad thirsted for more and expanded PKL into this giant worldwide thing.”

“Wow.” I said, exhaling shakily. “No wonder dad wants me to kill Joe…he wants to take a blow to Mr. Jonas.”

“Exactly.” Josh nodded.

“Josh you have to help me!” I shrieked. “There has to be some way around this!”

“I don’t know Raven, you’re dealing with the core of all this here. You’ve dug right down to dad’s past, and I’m not sure you can just get out of it…”

“I’m running out of time.” I cried, putting my hands over my face and sliding down the wall until I was sitting on the cold, wooden floor. “Dad wants me to kill Joe Halloween night.”

“That’s like, two weeks away. Ouch” He said, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“Not helping!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He sighed. “Look Raven, I’m sorry that you got caught up in this. I’ll try to help you think of something. But if the Emoluments here in New York figure out that I’m here, I’m dead.”

“Then just do what you did in Italy! Make up a name, change schools, do something! I can’t lose you again Josh.” I said, looking up at him with tear stained cheeks. He offered his hands to me and pulled me up, wrapping me in a tight hug.

“I know Raven, I’m sorry. We’ll find a way to fix this. I promise.”

“I trust you.” I said quietly, slowly pulling away. “When did you get here?”

“About a week ago. I didn’t want to come and find you until I was positive of where you were staying. Mom bailed on you, huh?”

“Course.” I growled.

“She’s scared. She never liked Dad’s rivalry with the Jonases. Once she found out you were hanging around with Joe she probably made it a priority to jet out of here.”

“Coward.” I mumbled. “I don’t get it though. The Jonases don’t seem like they’re fighting back.”

“They’re not. Sure, they’re upset that dad’s created this monstrosity of a cult because of him and has all the people in it turned on him. But they’re not violent, they just want to do their own thing. Having their boys in the spotlight has helped them though, since they’re always surrounded by security now. Dad wants them to fight back, and when he found out you have ties with Joe he knew you’d be able to do damage. Killing off one of their sons would be a major blow.”

“This is horrible.” I moaned, shaking my head.

“Trust me Raven, it’s only going to get worse.” Josh said with a sad shrug. I just glared at him, my eyes empty with rage and sadness.

Secret #13: Start digging the hole boys, death is rolling in like an angry bull to the matador.

“Boo.”

I screamed, and he laughed. I rolled my eyes and looked at him, his brown eyes dancing as the plastic vampire fangs hung out of his mouth. It made my stomach twist the way he had that crooked grin and how his deep brown hair hung loosely over one eye. But I pulled myself out of my small admiration moment and slammed the locker door closed, the sound of the loud chatter of the hallway returning to my senses.

“Funny.” I said, cracking a small smile. Joe grinned.

“Sorry, I didn’t think it was going to scare you.” He teased.

“I wasn’t scared,” I emphasized in return. “You just…startled me.” I said, tucking a book under my arm and starting off down the corridor with him towards the cafeteria for lunch.

“Don’t I wook wike Edward Culwin?” He asked, his voice muffled by the oversized plastic of the fake teeth.

“I’m surprised you even know who that is.” I said with a small chuckle.

“Hey don’t underestimate me, I know my Twilight.” He smiled, spitting the fangs into his hands. “So are you excited for the ball tomorrow night? Halloween’s like, my second favorite holiday, you know.”
“Me? Oh uh, yeah I suppose.” I said with a shrug, adjusting my bag on my shoulder.

“Oh come on, you have to get more excited then that!” He said, poking my side so I jumped a little - which made him laugh. “I heard Meris and Sawyer have some killer things planned.”

His choice of words made me wince. “Yeah, I heard that too.” I said, tucking some of my hair behind my ear as we entered the cafeteria. I followed him as we walked towards the lunch line, waiting to get our food. My hours left with Joe were winding down, and just the thought of it made my stomach turn.

“You alright? You seem kinda…spacey today.” Joe said, reaching up to grab a piece of pizza from the shelf in front of us that was lined with plates of food.

I grabbed a turkey wrap and a vitamin water, looking over at him as we moved slowly towards the register. “I don’t know, I just I just haven’t been feeling so well I guess.” I said as I punched in my student I.D number and slowly followed Joe out of the kitchens and back into the cafeteria.

“Well if you want to talk about it, I’ll always be here.” He smiled, his hand on my shoulder. It sent chills up and down my spine.

“Hey - Joe, Raven! Over here!” We looked up to see Kevin waving us over from a large round table that was loaded with people. Most of them were friends of mine, and a few others were fan girls that had somehow pushed themselves into a seat. Anything to be breathing the same air as them.

“Hey,” Meris smiled as I slid into the seat on her left, Nick was on her right with his arm around her shoulder.

“Hi.” I said, biting my lip and stiffly sitting down in my seat.

“Anyways,” Sawyer said, since our arrival had apparently interrupted an important conversation, “We have these awesome fog machines, tons of dry ice, some really cool strobe lights that we borrowed from Meris’ uncle that owns that weirdo club downtown…”

“It’s not weirdo, it’s just kinda…never mind.” Meris laughed. “It is kinda weirdo.”

Sawyer smiled. “So yeah, we have those lights, this elevated dance floor, these giant screens that will be playing like Saw, The Mist, all kinds of scary movies like that.”

“Tell them who you got to perform, that’s the best part.” Nick chimed in.

“Oh I almost forgot! We got Secondhand Serenade to come!” Sawyer smiled, clapping her hands together London Tipton style.

“Wow, that’s awesome.” I said genuinely. If I wasn’t going to be committing a murder/suicide then I might actually be excited. Funny how death tends to bring down the mood of social gatherings.

“So are we wearing costumes?” Joe asked eagerly.

“No, Joe. No costumes.” Meris laughed, throwing an animal cracker at his head.

“Come on…” Joe whined. “I have this awesome inflatable giraffe costume that-”

“Nobody wants to hear the details, Joseph.” Kevin said with a laugh, taking a sip of his Starbucks espresso. “You should see this thing though. Best blackmail pictures I’ve ever taken in my life.” He said, twirling his iphone around in his hand.

“You didn’t.” Joe said.

“Oh, but he did.” Nick chuckled.

“I’ll kill you.” Joe said, his face serious. His words felt like a punch in the stomach.

“With that, a fish stick?” Kevin laughed, leaning back in his chair as everyone joined in.

“Hey, don’t insult the weapon of choice.” Joe fired back with a smile.

“I can see the tombstone now,” Sawyer said in-between breaths from laughing so hard. “Here lies Joseph Adam Jonas: violently murdered by a fish stick.”

“Cute.” Joe said with an eye roll.

I closed my eyes, a small tear escaping. “Excuse me.” I said quietly, pushing back my chair and wiping it away as I headed out of the cafeteria quickly, blowing past people on my way out.

“Raven?” Joe asked, exchanging glances with everyone at the table before getting up and following in my footsteps. “Raven, please.” He pleaded, catching my hand and causing me to stop. “Was it something we said?”

I nodded, turning away from him. I hated crying, I hated feeling weak. I hated everything. I caught my reflection again in the trophy case I was standing in front of, and it made me want to shatter the glass. There I was, my hair at my shoulders in messy short layers and my butt looking huge. My eye makeup was smudged, and I was wearing skinny jeans, a patterned tank top and a cropped brown sweater. My appearance felt pitiful when my eyes laid on Joe’s reflection beside me. I just wanted to cheat this all and kill my dad and myself. End all the suffering. Never before had suicide felt so beautiful compared to ugliness that was reality.

“What was it? The killing thing?” He asked softly, touching the side of my face. I nodded, wiping the tears from my eyes with frustration. “I’m sorry if anything we said offended you, I mean, we had no idea…”

“Nobody understands.” I choked, crossing my arms across my chest and turning away from him. “This is bad, so very, very bad.” I said quietly to myself, nearly shaking with fear.

“What’s bad, Raven?” He asked, “Please tell me, I want to help.”

I sighed, biting my lip and looking up at him. “If I show you something, will you swear not to tell anyone?” I asked, feeling rocks in my stomach.

“Of course.” He said, his eyes sad. I nodded, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Come on,” I said, taking his hand as we headed down the hall towards the exit of the school.

We arrived at my mother’s abandoned apartment twenty minutes later, our entire floor nearly frozen with the streams of cold air. I stopped in front of our door, banging loudly as my breath rose in clouds in front of my face.
“What are we doing here, I thought your mom took off?” Joe asked, his features knotted in confusion.

“She did.” I said simply. “Josh, it’s me. Open up.”
“Josh?” Joe questioned, but I said nothing.

The door creaked open a fraction of an inch, one of Josh’s bright green eyes visible. “Who’s your friend?” He asked, his voice deep as he tried to sound like someone else.

“Joe Jonas.” I said nervously. “Please Josh, I only have a couple hours left. You have to just let me explain to him a little bit of what’s going on.” I pleaded.

“A couple hours left? Raven what’re you talking about? Are you moving? And who’s Josh?” Joe asked again, untying his scarf as he looked at me.

“Joe please just, hold on.” I said, rubbing my temples. “Josh can we please come in?”

“Hold on.” Josh said in his regular tone, closing the door. There was the sound of numerous padlocks opening and chains moving as we waited for him reopen the door. I stood impatiently, tapping my foot as I waited. He finally opened the door and let us inside.

“You’ve got to be joking.” I said as we walked inside, looking at all the extra security measures Josh had taken by nearly nailing the door to the wall.

“Hey, you can never be took careful.” He shrugged, pulling a handgun from his pocket. I gasped. “Raven, relax will you?”

“Sorry.” I mumbled.

“Can someone please explain to me what’s going on?” Joe asked, desperate for answers. I felt heavily sorry for him. It was my fault he had been thrust into this situation. Then again, it had all started with our fathers nearly seventeen years ago. All of this was nearly inevitable.

“Well, uhm.” I said awkwardly, rocking back on my heels. “Joe, this is uh- my brother. Josh Wilson.”

“You never told me you had a brother.” Joe asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s because I thought he was dead.” I mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I said quickly.

“Oh, well, I guess that it’s nice to meet you.” Joe said with a nod.

“Likewise.” Josh said, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Okay so I met your brother, but why did you drag me out of school?” Joe asked. “Don’t get me wrong, I want to be here. But I’d really just like to know what’s going on.”

I looked over at Josh, and he nodded. I sighed. “We should probably sit down for this.” I said, biting my lip as I took his hand and led him over to an old, shaggy couch that Josh must have dragged inside. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Joe.” I said shakily. “Now please don’t take it the wrong way and think that you can’t trust me, because you…you can. You can trust me.” I said, feeling like I was being stabbed in the heart as I spoke. Saying the words out loud felt better. Like I was reassuring myself. But it wasn’t working.

“I know that…” Joe said softly.

“But there’s something you need to know. It’s the reason I’ve been acting like this the past few weeks, the reason for…everything that’s happened.”

“Your dad.” Joe said quietly.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “There’s more to the story, things I’ve been leaving out-”

“I know.” He said.

“You know?”

“The rivalry, the cult your dad formed, the way our families hate each other…I know all about it, Raven.” Joe said wearily, his voice sounding heavy.

“You do? How?” I asked, completely taken aback. I had gone into this conversation expecting to have to tell him everything. The way it had all started back in New Jersey, the way my dad lashed out at Joe’s father and how he thirsted for power, the way my brother had been taken captive…the list was never-ending.

“Because, Raven…” He said, exhaling shakily as he looked down at the floor. “We just didn’t show up in New York City, and those cameras just didn’t appear in our house…”

“Joe, what’re you talking about?” I asked nervously, moving closer to him.

“I…I was hired by International Intelligence.” He said, his eyes slowly rising to meet mine. “Raven, I was hired to kill you.”

Secret #14: It appears to be that the feeling between Joe and I is mutual.

My mouth was hanging open. Just wide enough for any passing air traffic to fly in and choke me senseless. I searched my mind for words, but was left literally speechless. I just looked at him, feeling like I was on pins and needles. But before I had any more time to react, Josh was nearly on top of Joe with his handgun pointed at Joe’s head.

“Traitor!” Josh screamed, his arm around Joe’s neck.

“Josh, no!” I screamed. “Please, let him talk!”

My heartbeat was moving so many beats a second it would be impossible to count. Josh’s expression was still hard with anger as his hand slowly moved the gun away from Joe’s head. I turned my attention back to Joe, his brown eyes flashing a hint of fear. “Joe, what’s going on?” I asked helplessly.

“Please don’t hate me Raven after I tell you this…and I know it was wrong for me to keep it a secret from you, but I really didn’t have a choice. My dad was sick of standing on the sidelines the entire time and when he found out that your father was real rivals with International Intelligence and not on and off like he is with the Emoluments, he wanted to contact them so he could do something about this mess.” Joe sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way. My dad just wanted to get International Intelligence to talk to your dad and make all of this stop, learn to live in peace for once. But the representative that they sent over was your mom, and she knew the only way to get your father to even think about ending this was to have you killed. My dad refused the deal right away, but she cornered us. My parents aren’t really living in the apartment below us. You’ve never seen them because they’re being held hostage.”

“What?” I shrieked. “How…why?” I asked, my eyes widening.

“Your mom wants revenge too, and she knows your dads weak points. She was too afraid kill you herself, and she knew I already had some social ties to you as it was. So she sent me to do it.”

“And if you don’t?” I asked quietly.

“My parents will be killed.” He said, his gaze casting downwards. I groaned, pulling a pillow over my face. “Raven I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you it’s just…look at me. I’m not a murderer. I-I could never kill someone, let alone you.”

I sighed, hugging the pillow to my chest and trying to swallow the lump in me throat. “Joe, I haven’t exactly been too honest with you either.” I said finally.

“What do you mean?” He asked softly, his eyes watching me intently.

I looked at him, my expression obviously showing hurt. I didn’t know what to say or how to even say it. My gaze shifted from Joe to Josh, who was twirling the handgun around his finger with an impatient aura nearly glowing from his angry features. “I…uh…” I started to say, but Josh’s eyes narrowed and the gun started spinning faster. “I love you.” I blurted, skipping out on the real truth about me having to kill him too and letting the thoughts in the back of my head spill out. But then my eyes widened and I slapped my hands over my mouth. I love you. Had I really just said that?

“Wow. Raven I uh, I don’t know what to say.” Joe said, his expression unreadable.

“I have to go.” I mumbled, jumping up from my seat and heading towards the door.

“Raven, wait!” Joe called after me.

“Shoot him and I will kill you.” I hissed at Josh before slamming the door in his face and running down the hallway towards the stairs. My head was buzzing, and I felt almost dizzy from all that was running through my mind. I love you. I love you. I love you. The words were screaming in my head, and I felt myself nearly shaking. Why had I opened my mouth? How did I end up in this mess?

I was nearly sprinting down the stairwell when all of a sudden there was a loud blast and I was flung into the wall. I screamed, covering my face as I fell. I could smell smoke, and when I slowly opened my eyes I saw a helicopter hovering beside the building through the giant hole that had been made in it’s structure. My dad was standing in the open doorway of the chopper, a megaphone in his hands. He had a look of satisfaction on his face, the wind from the propellers blowing dust in my eyes as I struggled to get free of the rubble.

“Time is running out my poor daughter.” He laughed. “You better make sure you make a move soon. And don’t forget, Daddy is always watching you.” And then he was gone, the black doors sliding shut and the helicopter disappearing up into the sky. It had all happened so fast that I expected to have simply blinked and imagined it all.

The fire alarms were going off, and the sprinklers on the ceilings started raining down. I groaned in pain, attempting to push the piles of brick and glass off of me. It would be nice if my father understood that he didn’t need to enforce his points with violence. I went to stand up and got a sharp pain in my side, which made me slide back down the wall and onto the floor again. I put my hand to the skin and pulled it away only to reveal the deep crimson color of blood. I cursed under my breath and looked around for any sign of help.

“I don’t know man, I just heard something explode and all the alarms started going off.”

“Do you think Raven’s okay?”

“Stop hitting on my little sister, will you?”

Joe and Josh’s voice started to come closer, and when I looked up I saw Joe’s face appear from the stairwell above as he peered over the railings at me. “Raven!” He gasped, disappearing only to appear at my side seconds later. “What the hell happened? No don’t answer, you’re hurt. Josh, get over here!” He yelled.

“What do you want?” Josh said rudely, his expression immediately changing when he saw me under the wreckage. “Dad.” He growled.

“What was he doing here?” Joe asked, pulling a large 2 x 4 beam off my shoulder.

“Oh uh, you know. Just uh - saying hi?” I said, biting my lip in innocence of the excuse and in hopes of making the pain in my side dissipate.

“I think she broke a rib.” Josh said. “Come on, help me get her up.”

“I got it.” Joe said, carefully scooping me up into his arms. “Oh my god, Raven. You’re bleeding like crazy.”

“I’m…fine.” I said, my eyes feeling droopy and my body weak.

“We have to get her to the hospital.” Josh said, tucking the gun away in his pocket quickly as neighbors were starting to emerge from nearby apartments to see what all the noise was about.

“No!” I said loudly, my sudden raise in volume alarming them briefly. “I don’t need to go to the hospital. Josh, you have to get out of here. Dad could be in the building for all you know.”

“You’re right. I gotta split. Call me later.” He said with a nod, quickly hopping over the rubble and disappearing down the stairs.

“Don’t leave me.” I said to Joe, suddenly being hit by the reality of the situation.

“Raven, what’s going on?” He asked me, fear easily found in his voice.

“It’s really happening.” I said as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks, burying my head in his shoulder. After that, everything went black.

I woke up to see a brightly colored ceiling and bright fluorescent lights of all kinds of different shapes shining down into my eyes. I blinked a couple times, my eyebrows knitting in confusion as I tried to realize where I was. A voice started to come, and it slowly became louder. Someone was touching my hair. Running their hand through it as they hummed something soft and sweet. My head was slightly elevated, and when I tilted it slightly I realized I was lying across Joe’s lap. The humming turned into soft singing, Joe’s voice causing me to close my eyes again.

“So you see, this world doesn’t matter to me. I’d give up all I have just to breathe the same air as you till the day that I die, I can’t take my eyes off of you. Finally waking up. A twist in my story. It’s time I open up and let your love right through me. I’m finally waking up, a twist in my story. It’s time I open up and let your love right through me…”

And the pain was gone. I suddenly felt whole again, calm. I didn’t know what it was, but it felt like a high. I must have taken some medication or something. Feeling this…peaceful seemed impossible. But just hearing Joe’s voice, something about it gave me this warm feeling inside. My eyes snapped open, and he laughed softly.

“Good morning.” He smiled at me. I tried to sit up quickly, but got a rushing sensation to my head that made me dizzy. I put my hand to the side of my head, closing my eyes as the pain returned. “Easy.” He said quietly. “You hit your head pretty good and cracked one of your ribs. Not to mention that huge cut you got on your side.”

“Joe, you didn’t have to do this.” I said, inching myself forward a bit. His arms wrapped around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked.

“I suppose.” I said, touching the side of his face. His skin was so warm, and his features breathtaking. It made me think back to all the times I had looked at the posters on Meris’s walls, just staring at the photos. He had seemed so fake, like something of his perfection could never be real.

The realization of breathing the same air as someone like Joe was never there. All the music videos, posters, magazines…it all seemed so fabricated and unreal. But here I was, wrapped in his arms like a small child as I rested my hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat. I breathed in, taking in his scent of fabric softener and old spice. This moment of peace, serenity - there was never such a thing in the rushing way my life was ending. Little things like this made me want to keep living, change my perspective completely.

“When you told me you loved me, did you really mean it?” He asked, his voice sending chills down my spine.

“I- well,” I blushed, not knowing how to respond. But my heart spoke for me before my head had a chance to come up with an excuse. “Yes.”

His finger traced my bottom lip, his dazzling grin lighting up his face as he looked at me. It made my heart flutter, my stomach filling with the kind of butterflies that made you want to puke. “I - I didn’t mean to, I totally understand if you don’t feel the same way I was just thinking too fast and-” I started to ramble, feeling embarrassed. But he cut me off and silenced me, pressing his warm lips to mine. The first kiss. I was tense at first, but slowly relaxed. He laced his fingers through mine, and I felt completely calm. It was like he put me in a trance, and when he pulled away I felt like he pulled the soul right from me.

“I love you too Raven.” He smiled. “No matter what comes between us, whether it be your crazy father, death or even the world ending itself…I will always be here, I promise.”

Secret #15: People change and promises are broken, but I’m willing to just take a breath.

Morning. Good morning, he had said to me. A new beginning, the start of a new day. That’s what good morning meant. New day. I felt my face turn pale. “Good morning?” I repeated aloud, my voice quiet.

“Yeah,” Joe chuckled. “You were out all night.”

“Does that mean today is-”

“Happy Halloween!” Kevin interrupted, finishing my sentence as he walked in the front door with a few plastic wal-mart bags in hand.

“Hey, where’ve you been?” Nick asked, rising from his seat at the kitchen table where he had been working on a homework assignment.

“Shopping. You know, getting some finishing touches for the ball tonight.” Kevin grinned, kicking the door closed behind him. He walked over to the table and started ruffling through the plastic, the crinkling noise feeling like gunshots in my ears. I was a bit frozen in time at the moment to even speak. “And to get some of this.” He pulled three large bags of candy out from the piles of groceries, grinning ear to ear.

“Why did you even bother? It’s not like we’re gonna get trick or treaters here.” Nick said, closing his binder full of papers and tossing it off to the side.

“Trick or treat.” Joe grinned, sneaking up behind Kevin and snatching a large multi-pack of chocolate out of his hands. “Dude, there’s Twix in here? You’re officially my hero for life.” He said, pulling the bag open and pulling out a small chocolate in copper colored paper. “Want one?” He asked me.

“What? Oh, no thanks.” I said, slowly standing up. “What time is it?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get ready for the dance.” Nick teased, walking by me smacking my ponytail.

“Nine thirty.” Kevin answered, looking at his wristwatch.

“Thank you.” I replied sourly, throwing a glare Nick’s way.

“Meris just texted me, her and Sawyer are gonna come over around five-ish so we can all head to the dance together.” Nick said, picking up a guitar on a stand and plopping down on the couch only to pluck the chords aimlessly.

“Sweet.” Joe nodded. “I’m so pumped for this thing.”

“Why?” I asked, my tone of voice a bit cold.

“Halloween, dancing, music and food…how could you not get excited for that?” He said, walking back over to me and brushing a strand of my hair from my eyes.

“I can think of one good reason.” I mumbled.

“Raven, don’t worry about your dad tonight. Everything will be just fine. You just gotta cut back and let loose once in awhile. You know, chill.” He smiled. “Nothing could possibly go wrong.”

“Raven, Meris wants to know why your not answering her texts.” Nick said, glancing up at me.

“Raven, Meris said this. Raven, Meris said that.” Kevin mimicked in a taunting voice. “Someone’s turned into a puppy dog.”

“Shut up.” Nick said with an eye roll and a small smile, throwing a pillow at his brother’s head. Kevin just stuck his tongue out and threw a snickers bar at him.

“Hey thanks.” Nick grinned. Kevin rolled his eyes. “Anyways, the girls are looking for you.”

“Joe, do you uh - think you could give me a ride over to Meris’s house?” I asked, yawning a bit and rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“No problem.” Joe nodded, raising his hand and catching the car keys Kevin was throwing his way. “I’ll be right back.” He said with a nod to his brothers, opening the door for me. “You alright? Well of course you’re not, you’re hurt. What I mean is-”

“I get what you mean.” I said with a weak smile, pushing the down button on the wall outside the elevator as we waited for it to come. “I’m just - nervous about tonight I guess.” I said, my foot tapping impatiently until the double doors in front of me finally opened.

“Don’t be, we’re going to have a great time.” Joe smiled, following me inside and pressing the small button that read ‘lobby’.

“Easy for you to say.” I muttered under my breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

The rest of the elevator ride downstairs was spent in silence. My mind was working overtime trying to find even the smallest loophole to try and escape from committing my duty tonight. Small ideas would start to form, but then I would realize how completely ridiculous they sounded or how impossible the stunt would be. I became more and more frustrated, and time was running out.

Joe and I stepped out of the elevator and into the bustling lobby full of small children in costumes and parents with armfuls of baked goods and candy as they prepared to make their way to school. It made me think of all the childhood memories I had missed out on while my parents were off getting wrapped up in their other lives. I shook the thought away quickly.

We made our way out of the front door and into the cold fall air, heading down the sidewalk and towards the parking lot. We made small conversation, mainly about the leaves on the trees and other various decorations set up about the city as we drove. Other than that it was awkward and silent.

“We’re here.” Joe said, slowly pulling to a stop in front of Meris’s house.

“Thanks.” I said, undoing my seatbelt and putting my hand on the door ready to open it and get out.

“Raven, wait.”

I stopped and looked over at him, saying nothing.

“I really want to have a good time tonight, and I don’t want you to worry about your parents ruining it.” He said, his expression sympathetic.

“It’s not them I’m worried about. Please Joe, seriously, I’ll be fine.” I pleaded, just begging to rip free of his grasp - afraid to ever look at his face again.

He sighed. “Okay. Call me later?” I nodded. He leaned over kissed me softly, and I felt all my insides catch on fire. I quickly pulled away, no matter how much I didn’t want to, and got out of the car - running to Meris’s doorstep and walking inside.

“Oh, hello Raven.” Meris’s mom said as soon as I closed the front door behind me, slowly hearing Joe drive away in Kevin’s Cadillac Escalade.

“Oh, Mrs. Benson, I’m sorry - I really should have knocked…”

“Don’t worry sweetie,” She said with a laugh. “The girl’s are upstairs talking about the ball tonight. They’ve been wondering where you’ve run off to.”

“Well here I am.” I said with a nervous laugh.

“Would you like some pancakes, dear? I still have a few here on the stove…”

“No thanks Mrs. B, I better uh - get upstairs.” I said, sliding off my shoes and slowly climbing up the stairs.

“Ah! It’s about time you got here!” Sawyer shrieked, nearly toppling me in the doorway.

“Ow, ow. Sawyer, off please.” I said, grabbing my side as the pain sharpened when I moved.

“Sorry, sorry!” She said, immediately letting go of me. “What hurts?”

I slowly lifted my shirt to reveal the long, deep gash along my side. Sawyer gasped. “Hey, we’ve been looking every- what the hell happened to you?” Meris said, stopping mid-sentence when she saw my abrasion.

“I was uh, helping Joe move a ladder and it, you know, fell.” I offered, my gaze darting about the room.

“Oh, that sucks.” Meris said, walking across the room with her hair in a towel. “Anyways, do you think I should wear the pink heels or the silver ones?” She asked, bending over and picking up two pairs of shoes.

“With the dress you got, I would have to go with the silver ones.” Sawyer said, taking the backs off her pink, heart shaped earrings and setting them down on Meris’s dresser.

“What’s that sound?” Meris asked, studying her reflection in the mirror. My mind had wandered so far away that I hadn’t realized it was my cell phone ringing. I quickly fumbled through my pockets to pull it out, my brother’s number flashing on the screen.

“Uh, excuse me for a second.” I said, opening the bedroom door and wandering out into the hallway. “Josh, hey, I was going to call you but-”

“Don’t worry about that, I have something more important to tell you.” He said.

“What’s up?” I asked curiously.

“I know what we can do to stop this thing tonight.”

“Stop what thing, the dance? Josh it doesn’t matter whether the dance happens or not, I’m going to have to kill- I’m going to have to do what I need to by tonight no matter what.”

“No, no, not stop the dance. I know what we can do to end this whole thing with mom and dad. That way neither you nor Joe will have to end up killing each other.”

“And how do you propose to do this?” I asked, not buying what he was trying to pawn off at all. “Josh, you know we can’t just stand up to them and tell them to stop. That’s not really how it works.”

“Would you just listen for a second?” He said, his voice rising in frustration. “I’m not going to be doing anything. But I have a plan for you and Mr. Joe Fancy-pants Jonas that could possibly end this whole thing all together.”

“Enlighten me.” I said, leaning against the wall with my phone propped to my ear on my shoulder. I picked at my dark red nail polish, listening.

“Okay, so, while I was in Italy I learned how to tap into the Emolument radio frequencies.” He said proudly. He paused for a moment, as though waiting for me to congratulate him. I said nothing. “Anyways, I was listening in the other day on this radio transmitter I took from this old trucking company out in the suburbs…”

“You stole a radio transmitter?”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Sorry.”

“So I listened to it for a few hours. It was mainly nothing but static and gossip between agents, but then things got interesting. Dad came on and said that he was planning on following you at the dance tonight so he could watch the whole thing happen, just to make sure it went ‘according to plan’ or whatever.”

“He’s going to be there tonight?!” I shrieked, slapping my hand over my mouth at the realization of how loud I had been.

“Yes, but it gets even better. Some Emolument guy said that he had been talking to Kelly Simon, who I guess is your teacher or something, and she said that mom was planning on going tonight too so she could make sure Joe did what he was supposed to.”

“Oh god.” I groaned. “How could this possibly be a good thing?”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I came up with a plan.”

“Oh no…”

“No, this is a good one. I did some research on the hotel that this whole extravaganza is going to be taking place at. The first floor consists of four main rooms. The kitchen, lobby, ballroom and the old ballroom. All the main events are going to be held in the Marriott Ballroom, which is the new one. The old one, the Hawes Ballroom, was severely burned in a fire in the 1930s and is kept under lock and key. If you can make it look like you’re luring each other in there to kill one another, Mom and Dad will follow you.

“I’m sure both of them did their research on this place, so they’ll know every single crack in the wall down to a specific. There’s a long catwalk that loops between the two ballrooms that was supposed to be made to connect the two before the first one burned. So I’m sure that they’ll be hovering in that area all night, hopefully without running into each other first.”

“So what does these ballrooms have to do with anything?” I asked.

“I’ll tell you. You and Joe take guns to the dance tonight, hide it in your dress or something. Dad said he’s going to lock the door to the ballroom once you’re in there so there’s not a chance of anyone getting out. And once Mom sees Dad, they’ll want a confrontation. But they’ll be so fed up with each other that they’ll forget all about you two and you’ll have your chance to kill them both. How does that sound?” He asked eagerly.

“I don’t know Josh, You can never really predict what dad’s going to do. Plus, he may have just told the Emoluments he was doing that just to set them up…”

“Well right now it’s the only plan I’ve got, take it or leave it.” He sighed. “Look Raven, I tried to come up with something.”

“I know, I know.” I said, tugging on the sleeve of my sweatshirt. “It’s just…this whole thing is looking hopeless at the moment.”

“We’ll get out it somehow, I know we will. There just has to be a way. If only we had more time-”

“Josh we’re out of time, don’t you get it? There’s nothing more we can do!” I cried. “It’s over, we lost.”

“There was one other plan.” He said softly.

“What is it?” I asked helplessly. I listened as he told me, my eyes widening with horror. “No, Josh there’s no way I could let that happen-”

“It’s all we have left Raven, if you want all them to live, your friends, Joe’s parents, basically anyone you’ve ever known- you’re going to have to do it.”

“Josh I could never-”

“Raven please, just…trust me.” He pleaded.

“Raven? Come on, we’ve got to get to the hair salon or else Marjorie is going to flip!” Sawyer said, sticking her head out of the bedroom door and waving her arms frantically.

“I’ll think about it.” I said quietly into the phone, slowly flipping it shut and exhaling shakily. I turned my attention from Josh to Sawyer, my expression blank. “Hair appointment? Oh, at Bluebells. I almost forgot. Uh, yeah let’s go.” I nodded, watching as my friends filed down the staircase in front of me. I followed them reluctantly, clinging to each second as my heartbeat slowed with each passing minute.

And in that split second of walking out the door, I was back standing in front of the full length mirror in Meris’s bedroom again - four hours later. My hair was in soft waves on my shoulders, the dress I had bought a few days ago covering my pale skin. I looked over at the clock nervously, feeling my hands sweat. It was all happening way too fast, and when I looked at my reflection - I saw the face of a killer. I wanted to rewind, start the day over. Sit on Joe’s lap and experience the first kiss again, complain the entire time I was at the hair dressers, redo my makeup fifteen times - do something, anything to go back in time.

“You ready?” Sawyer asked, her voice making me jump. I took one last look at myself and nodded, feeling like my heartbeat was loud enough for the entire world to hear.

“Don’t you girls look beautiful. You excited?” Mrs. Benson asked, a camera in her hands. Sawyer and Meris squealed and high fived, and I simply nodded my head.

The ride over to the Jonas’s household was loud with music and laughter, but I sat quiet as I watched the lights of the city pass by. I could feel the gun nestled along my waistline, the metal cold against my skin. Josh’s plan ran through my head, and the more and more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I just didn’t know if I would be emotionally able to pull it off.

“Raven, wake up!” Sawyer laughed, smacking my shoulder and gesturing for me to get out of the car. Going unnoticed by me, we had arrived at the boys house. Meris and Sawyer were out the car and in the front door within seconds, but I took my time.

“Have fun, sweetie.” Mrs. Benson smiled at me.

“Thanks.” I nodded with a weak grin, closing the door behind me. My heels clicked loudly on the sidewalk as I made my way up the front steps. The warm blast of the air from the lobby felt nice on my face as I walked inside.

“Raven, hurry up!” Meris called from across the room, she giggled and waved me over and I jogged as quickly as I could in my dress and heels over to the elevator that was just about to close.

“You okay? You’re mind seems like it’s…elsewhere today.” Sawyer asked me as we stood in the crowded elevator, getting squashed to the sides as three men in suits exited on the floor before the one we were getting off at.

“No, I’m fine. Just, you know, a little sore and stuff.” I shrugged. Thankfully Sawyer let the conversation go, and I was free to drown in my thoughts all over again. The elevator doors popped open, and we only had to knock once before we were greeted by the boys in their tuxedos - looking as dashing as ever.

“Don’t we look pretty,” Nick grinned, wrapping his arm around Meris’s waist.

“Why thank you.” She grinned.

“You have a date, Sawyer?” Kevin asked.

“Nah, guys are overrated.” She shrugged.

“Well I could use a date.”

“On the other hand…” Sawyer laughed, linking arms with Kevin.

“Hey can I uh, talk to you for a sec?” I asked Joe quietly, pulling him aside from the group.

“Sure.” He nodded.

“There’s something I have to tell you.” I said, playing with the small bow on my dress. “I was ordered by my father to kill you.” I sighed. “Tonight.”

Joe looked shocked, but tried to play it off. He laughed shakily. “Funny how that worked out, huh? Me having to kill you, you having to kill me.” He cleared his throat, pulling at the collar of his shirt nervously, but doing his best to hide it. “So uh - what do we do?”

I explained to him Josh’s plan, and he too looked at bit skeptical about it. “Raven are you sure? I mean the chances of it working out the way you want it to are slim to none…how can we even be sure that he’ll keep his promise and show?”

“He’ll be there.” I said confidently. “He just has to.” I added under my breath, trying to reassure myself in any way I could.

Joe nodded, slowly taking my hand as we walked back to the rest of the group. “We ready to go?” Kevin asked, rubbing his hands together. Everyone nodded eagerly, and Joe simply squeezed my hand. We all filed back out into the hallway and took the stairs instead of the elevator, making our way down to the lobby. As we neared the exit, there was a long white limo waiting for us outside.

“No way.” Meris said, grinning widely as she looked back at Nick.

“Yeah way, dude. How sweet are we?” Kevin asked.

“Way sweet,” Sawyer squealed, kissing Kevin’s cheek.

The ride to the hotel was loud with chatter and music. The radio was blasting Cry For You by September, and everyone was singing along and drinking sodas as we sat in the crazy NYC traffic - just waiting until we finally arrived for the ball.

After twenty minutes, we pulled up in front of a long black carpet that was lined with jack-o-lanterns. Everyone from school was walking down the award show style entrance as they made their way inside, the fog machines making them disappear once they opened the large front doors. At this point, I was paranoid. Every guy I saw in a tux I assumed was my father, and I felt completely on edge.

“What time.” Joe asked in my ear, his question more like a statement.

“Midnight.” I replied quietly as we walked down the long carpet, the music from inside slowly growing louder. We arrived at the front door, giving our names to the teacher’s who were on duty - and they let us inside.

The scene in the hotel ballroom was straight out of a Hollywood movie. The walls were decorated with fake, dead looking trees and pulsating black lights. The DJ and waiters were dressed in costume, and the tables were covered with spider-web looking tablecloths. I wanted to enjoy it, but the voices in my head just kept screaming at me. How could I even think about having fun considering what I was about to do?

“We still have time Raven.” Joe said to me as we sat down at the table waiting for dinner. “Enjoy it while you have it.” I nodded solemnly, leaning back in my seat and letting the atmosphere of the room distract me. I engaged in the casual gossip and conversation of everyone around me and let my mind wander off and away from the nightmare that was destined to come.

I felt my eyes scan the catwalks above us absent mindedly, but saw nothing in the darkness. I felt frustrated, shifted in my chair and felt the cold metal of the gun again. It sent chills down my spine. But I let myself go. I ate, laughed, and danced until my ankles felt like breaking. The time escaped me, and I just let all the thoughts harbor elsewhere. If this was all the time in the world I had left with him, I might as well enjoy it while I still could.

The world around me escaped, and I lost track of time. Joe and I were slow dancing, when the loud chimes of the clock signaling the stoke of midnight made everything come flooding back within seconds. “It’s midnight.” Joe said, glancing up at the clock.

“I know.” I sighed, taking his hand and slowly making my way through the crowd towards the entrance to the Hawes ballroom. “I just never thought it would come this fast.” He simply nodded sadly, as we walked - the noise of the crowds fading as we distanced ourselves from the ball. “Josh told me we would have to go through room 117 to get into the ballroom.”

“There, down the end of the hall.” Joe said, pointing at the large numbers above the wooden door at the end of the long hallway. I took a shaky breath in and continued walking, my heels clicking loudly on the wood flooring. “It’s for the best Raven…” He added, his hand on my back.

“I know, it’s just…” My voice trailed off. I held the gun in my hand, running my finger along the trigger as gently as I could. We approached the door, and I knocked four times. We waited, and it finally creaked open to reveal someone peeking through.

“Password?”

“Just let us in Josh.” I sighed shakily. He closed the door, then reopened it to let us inside. The room looked as though it had been abandoned for years, and it smelt like dust and mothballs. “Are they here?” I asked him once the doors had been closed and locked behind us. He nodded.

“Arrived hours ago. Dad’s been watching you like a hawk.” He scowled.

“Does he know you’re here?” I asked cautiously.

“No.”

“Alright, then let’s get this over with.” I breathed, linking arms with my victim. “Are you sure this is going to work?” I asked Josh. He turned to look at me.

“We have no other choice.”

I leaned over and gave Joe a long, soft kiss before looking away from him - afraid to even see his face after this all would be said and done. “Don’t be scared.” He whispered to me. I just nodded, trying to be brave as silent tears slid down my cheeks. We walked further across the room, the old Hawes ballroom opening up in front of us. As soon as our feet touched the patterned, tile floor - a bone chilling laugh rang about the room.

“It’s about time you got here.” My father’s voice came from in front of us. I squinted to see him appear from out of the shadows, his face looking frighteningly familiar even though I hadn’t seen him physically for years. “You’ve kept me waiting.”

“Apologies, father.” I said, bowing slightly as my shoulders shook with fear - my hand still wrapped tightly in his.

“You know, it is a shame that this night couldn’t have gone as smoothly as I had hoped.” He said, pacing back and forth. “We came across a bit of a…roadblock earlier this evening.” He said, snapping his fingers to reveal one of his henchmen walking into the room - my dead mother in his arms.

“Mom!” I shrieked.

“Yes, yes. Poor soul. I told her not to get involved, but she just wouldn’t listen now would she? ‘Tis a shame, really. Pretty girl.” He said, his voice drifting off. My partner kept his head down, his deep black hair covering his frightened eyes. “Well we don’t have all night now do we love? I believe it’s already past your deadline as it is. So go ahead,” He said, waving his hands as if to give me the signal to begin.

He and I let go of each other’s hands, and he slowly backed away from me. I held the gun steady in my hands, glancing at my father every few seconds to see if there was any chance of him changing his mind. I knew I was wishing for too much at that thought, but deep down I held on to every ounce of hope I had.

“Two in one night, what a lovely surprise. Who would have thought I’d walk away with a trophy wife?” He cackled, stroking the side of my mother’s face. I closed my eyes, the tears coming even faster. “However, I don’t think I can trust this one with keeping my secrets.” He said, his gaze moving from my mother to his henchmen. “So sorry, Horace.” His voice genuine, he pulled a pistol from his back pocket and shot the man in the heart. I opened my mouth to scream, but no noise came out.

“Now dear, I hate to even have to make the threat, but just in case you try any funny business…” He turned the gun towards me. “Just do as you were told and I’m sure we won’t have any more further interruptions.”

I stalled as much as I could, my heartbeat moving a thousand miles a minute. I just wanted to whirl around and shoot my father right in the heart. End all of this suffering. But I knew he would beat me to it and have me dead before I even had the reaction time to pull the trigger of my own gun.

“Tick, tick, tick…you know I am getting rather impatient dearie.”

I stared at him, feeling my whole body go numb with fear. My victim’s face rose to face mine, and I felt a whirlwind of emotion. All the love we had was about the be destroyed within seconds, and it made me wish I had spent more time with him. But how was I to know that it would end this way?

I never even dreamed he would come into my life this way. “I’m sorry.” I choked. And then I did it. I just I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger, the loud sound of the gunshot ringing loudly in my ears. He fell to his knees, and I felt my fathers laugher ripple through the room.

“Such a waste of life that silly little boy. I am so proud of you darling,” He said, slowly making his way past me to observe his victim. I sank to my knees, shaking with tears. “Hold on, what’s this?” My father asked curiously as he neared the boy’s face. “This isn’t the boy. This is…my son? Joshua?” He turned on his heel to face me, his expression full of rage and shock. “How dare you! How dare you, you insolent child! You set me up! You killed my son!”

“Raven, now!” Joe’s voice screamed from the back room. I struggled to my feet and shot at my father, missing by a fraction of an inch. He shot at me, and I started running the other way as I tried to load another bullet into my gun.

“Where is he? Where is that boy that dares to even think he could possibly love you more than me? Bring him out here! Make him face me!” He screamed, gunshots ringing in all directions. “My son, your own brother! How dare you trick me!”

I finally got myself loaded and whirled around, pulling the trigger in an instant and catching my father right in the neck. He stumbled backwards in pain, the gun falling from his hands as he slowly fell to the floor. I could feel myself seething with anger as I stood there with the weapon in my hand. It gave me a sense of power to see him lying there dying, but then I would look over and see my brother dead only a few short feet away.

“How dare I? How dare I?” I shrieked, kicking my father onto his side. “You were never any father to me! And to kill my own brother? You held him in an execution chamber in Russia only to be killed by you yourself until he got away! Fathers love their children, and there was no way in hell that you ever came close to knowing the meaning of the word love!” I screamed at him, the tears rolling down my face endlessly.

He opened his mouth as if to respond, but only a last escape of a breath came out - only to from two words. “I’m sorry.” He breathed, the light slowly disappearing from his eyes. I left his side instantly once I saw he was gone and ran to my brother.

“Josh, Josh look at me!” I shook his shoulders, but his eyes only stared straight ahead. “Josh please!” I cried, my voice hysterical. “Please…” I felt myself fall onto him, hugging him as though I could somehow give him some of my life so he would come back. “We can fix this! New plan, new plan…”

I felt someone’s arms around me, pulling me off Josh’s cold body. Their arms embraced me with warmth, and I could do nothing but close my eyes and relive the entire scene again and again. “It’s okay.” Joe’s soothing voice came to me as I cried into his shoulder. “It’s over Raven, it’s all over.”

Secret #16: We cannot banish dangers, but we can banish fears. We must not demean life by standing in awe of death.

I looked up from Joe’s shoulder, slowly moving my gaze from him to my father on the floor. My arms slowly released from Joe’s neck, and I shakily made my way over to him. Joe kept one of his fingers wrapped around mine and followed me over, our footsteps loud in the giant, empty ballroom. “Is he…dead?” Joe asked cautiously.

Kneeling down beside my father, I put my ear to his chest. There was nothing. I checked his pulse, and it was silent. I smiled smugly, but flinched slightly at the sight of the blood on the floor. “Judging by the temperature of his body, he’s only been dead for about two minutes.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Joe asked.

“I learned a lot from my mom whenever I went to International Intelligence headquarters with her over the summer.” I said with a shrug, kicking the side of my dad’s face lightly with my shoe.

“So, he’s really gone. It’s really…over?”

“You can never be sure.” I said with a shaky sigh. “There’s still more where they came from.”

“True.” Joe said, biting his lip and putting his hands in his pockets. “It’s just…you killed someone Raven. Are you going to get in trouble?”

“I’m trying not to think about that at the moment.” I said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Can I get up now?” Came a mumbling voice from across the room.

I smiled, turning on my heel and walking over to where Josh was lying across the floor. I stuck my hand out to him, laughing. “Yeah.”

His eyes flipped open, and he took my hand as he slowly stood up. He brushed the dust off his tux and winked at me, nodding at Joe. “Not bad, little sis.” He smiled, putting his arm around my shoulders. “I didn’t think we’d be able to pull it off without dad falling for it.”

“I thought I was going to pee myself when you made me stand in that back room and just watch while all of that happened.” Joe said, collapsing into one of the old, antique armchairs pushed against the wall. “That was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“I’m just glad we finally got him.” I said with a sigh of relief.

“Even though she wasn’t exactly the best mom out there, it’s still sad that dad kill her.” Josh added, his eyes slowly looking over our mother’s dead body on the floor about thirty feet away near our father’s dead henchmen.

“Yeah.” I said quietly, crossing my arms.

“I’m sorry, Raven.” Joe said, his hand on my shoulder.

“It’s fine.” I shrugged.

“So how did you guys pull off faking Josh’s death anyways?” Joe asked, standing up and walking with us as we headed out of the ballroom and into the hallway back towards the ballroom where the rest of the school was dancing the night away.

“It was kinda simple, actually.” Josh said, pushing open one of the large wooden doors that separated the old Hawes wing from the newer area of the hotel we were in. “Our father had a very…complex mind, so to speak. So he over thought everything. We figured if we did something as simple as use a fake gun for my ‘death’ we’d have enough time to switch it with a real one by the time he was done freaking out over Raven killing me. Then once he was gone, I would be able to walk away unharmed.” Josh said with a smug smile.

“Brilliant.” Joe said with a laugh, running his hand through his hair. “I’m just glad everyone’s okay. I was nervous my acting skills weren’t going to be believable while we waited for him to die.”

“No worries, Shane Gray,” I teased, messing up his hair. “You did amazing.”

“I’m just glad it’s over with.” He replied, his voice louder as we neared the ballroom.
“Well my part here is done, I’m gonna head home.” Josh said.

“You sure? You’re welcome to stay if you want.” I offered.

“Nah, it’s your night. You deserve it after all that you did.” He smiled.

“Thanks Josh,” I smiled, giving him a big hug.

“Take care of her,” He said to Joe. And with a nod of his head, he was gone.

Although it was nearly one in the morning, the dance was still in full swing. All the teachers had given up on chaperoning and were now in the middle of the dance floor with all the kids. This City Is At Way by Cobra Starship was blasting over the speakers, and Joe and I exchanged glances at the irony as we walked inside. But the thoughts on my mind were no longer swallowed with darkness like they had been for the past two weeks. I finally felt free, happy. And it was the best feeling in the world.

“Hey, I spy Meris and Nick!” Joe shouted to me over the loud music. I squinted over the strobe lights and caught Nick’s head of curls and Meris’s blonde hair in the middle of a large crowd of people dancing.

“Well let’s go!” I smiled, grabbing his hand and pulling him through the masses of people towards our friends. Sawyer and Kevin soon appeared at our side not long after.

“Hey we’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Sawyer screamed over the music.

“Well here we are!” I laughed in return.

“Less talking more dancing!” Joe shouted. All of us laughed and agreed. The room was hot and humid, and I could feel myself melting. But I didn’t care. I welcomed the loud vibrations as they made my heart shake in my I felt Joe’s arms around my waist and just let my mind drift away with the music.

After another hour, the room was slowly emptying. There were masks and streamers all over the floor with wilted balloons and corsages lying across the tables. The DJ had packed up and was carrying his things out to the parking lot, and only about thirty people remained inside.

Joe, Sawyer, Meris, Kevin, Nick and I were all sitting around one of the tables. My heels were in my hand, my feet aching with blisters. Meris had her head on Nick’s shoulder, her eyelids just barely staying open. Sawyer was arranging some of the stray confetti on the table to form shapes as we all sat around and made casual conversation.

My head was pounding as the events of the night kept replaying in my head over and over again. My father was still lying dead in the next room, but judging by how hard it had been to get in there - people hadn’t gone inside that room in years. I was skeptical on what to do. Should I call the police? He was after all a wanted criminal. But then I would be questioned on how I came across his death when I had no business in being outside of my school function screwing around in other rooms.

I tapped my fingers lightly on the table top as I stared straight head, just thinking. The leaders of International Intelligence and PKL were dead. It was a major accomplishment on our side, that was for sure. But that still left their followers and the Emoluments to deal with. I just hoped that a blow as big as this would be enough to make activity die down for a few months, not spark it to become worse.

“Raven, come on.” Joe said with a yawn, tapping my shoulder. “We should get going.”

I looked up at him and nodded, standing up and stretching. My entire body was sore, and my legs felt like they were about to give way underneath me. “What time is it?” I asked, Joe’s yawn causing me to do the same. He looked down at his watch and blinked a few times.

“Uh…2:10 in the morning.” He said, rubbing his eyes.

“How do you plan on getting us home? The limo service doesn’t run any later then midnight.” Kevin said, undoing his tie and letting it hand loosely around his neck.

“Well this is a hotel isn’t it? Why don’t we just stay here?” Sawyer suggested. “I heard a bunch of kids saying that they were just going to grab rooms for the night.”

“Yeah, probably because they’re wasted.” Meris said with an eye roll.

“Well we’re not, so what does it matter?” Nick shrugged. “I say we just grab a few rooms and crash.”

“I second that.” Sawyer yawned, raising a hand lazily.

Everyone’s gaze then turned to me, and in truth - I wasn’t sure what to say. I just kinda wanted to go home and get out of here, away from my disaster that was still lying in the Hawes ballroom. But part of me didn’t want to leave Joe’s side. He made me feel safe, and I didn’t really have anywhere to go other than here anyways.

After all, ‘home’ was back at Meris’s house, and going there by myself might be kind of awkward. So all I did is nod and shrug, and everyone hopped up out of their seats and started towards the main lobby to check in before I had a chance to say otherwise.

I followed slowly, but felt eyes on my back. I spun around quickly, but there was no one there but the custodian. Turning slowly around back towards my friends, I walked faster. Joe looked at me funny, but I gave him the best smile I could. But no matter how many deep breaths I took, I still felt like this night wasn’t over just yet.

Secret #17: Deep in my heart, I'm concealing the things i'm longing to say. Scared to confess what i'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away.

“What’re you thinking about?” Joe asked as he undid his tie and rolled up his sleeves, looking over at me. I was sitting on the edge of the hotel room bed, my legs crossed and band aids around my ankles from the horrid blisters I had gotten that evening. My mind elsewhere, as I fell deep into thought. His words caused me to snap my attention his way.

“Who, me? Oh - nothing.” I said quickly, looking around nervously. That was a lie for sure. I was a nervous wreck.

“Are you still thinking about the whole thing that happened with your dad?” He asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked at me - his jet black hair falling in front of one of his deep brown eyes.

I shrugged. “Somewhat.”

He nodded, kicking off his shoes and falling down onto the be beside me. “Understandable.”

“Something just isn’t sitting right.” I said, hugging my knees to my chest. I could nearly feel my heartbeat throbbing in my chest - my mind filled with visions and screaming voices as it repeated the nights events over and over again. I knew it was a good thing to have killed my dad, and come up with a plan so that Josh or Joe didn’t have to die either. But just the very thought of me murdering someone in the first place put an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

There was a loud knock on the door, and it caused me to scream. I slapped my hands over my mouth, looking over at Joe apologetically. He rolled his eyes, but smiled a bit as he got up and walked over to the door. I relaxed a bit when I saw it was just Nick and Meris coming into the room after getting some more towels from room service.

“Who screamed?” Nick asked, walking in with a white towel over his shoulder.

I raised my hand slowly, shrugging innocently. Nick just gave me a funny look and walked over to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Figures, none of them knew about what had happened that night except Joe. It felt so weird to be keeping it secret from all of them after I had finally told someone about it. After all, it was something I had kept hidden my entire life.

“Have you guys seen Kevin and Sawyer?” Meris asked, kicking off her heels and sitting down on the bed beside me - wincing at the blisters she had also gotten.

“I thought they were with you?” Joe asked, looking over at us.

“No…they said they were going to follow you guys up to the room. We watched them go into the elevator right after you did.” Meris said, raising an eyebrow. I felt my whole body go rigid.

“That’s weird. I haven’t seen them in over an hour.” Joe responded with a shrug, looking over at me. “Raven, relax. It’s not like this is going to turn into a scene from ‘Prom Night’ or anything. I’m sure they’re fine.”

“Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “I’m just…kinda on edge I guess.”

“What is your deal anyways?” Meris asked, glancing up briefly as Nick had walked back in the room. “You’ve seemed so on edge all night. First you’re all depressed, then you disappear for an hour and after you come back it’s like you’ve killed someone.” She said, rolling her eyes. Joe and I exchanged glances, but luckily nobody noticed.

“Where’s Kevin and Sawyer?” Nick repeated as he walked over to us, sitting on the bed opposite of ours.

“We were just talking about that.” I said weakly.

“Kevin has my wallet and I kinda want it back since they have a snack machine down the hallway with a bag of Cheetos that has been calling my name all night.” Nick grinned. Meris laughed.

“Try calling him.” Joe suggested. Nick nodded and pulled out his phone, dialing his brothers number.

“No answer.” He said after a few minutes, tucking his phone back into his pocket.

“I’ll try calling Sawyer.” Meris offered, pulling out her cell.

“No use. Remember, her phone broke last weekend.” I piped in.
“Oh, right.” She said, frowning slightly and sliding her phone back into her Vera Bradley clutch.

“Don’t worry so much,” Joe said to me yet again, sitting down beside me and putting his arm around my shoulders. “Seriously.”

“I know, I know.” I said, shifting uncomfortably.

“Why don’t we head down to the Starbucks downstairs?” Nick suggested. “I’m sure we can find Kevin there…”

“Good point.” Meris chuckled, sliding her feet into a pair of the free slippers left in the hotel room for guests. I snagged the other pair before Joe could, and he simply stuck his tongue out at me.

All of us headed out of the room and down the hall, heading towards the elevators to go downstairs. Everyone else kept up casual conversation, but I refrained. I had such a horrid feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong, but I just couldn’t put a finger on what it was. After stopping at a few floors, all of us finally got out into the nearly vacant lobby. It was already three in the morning, so they place we nearly empty when it came to anyone other than employees.

Taking a right down a side hall, the smell of coffee could be easily picked up as we headed towards the small café. I felt my stomach rumble slightly, but tried to ignore it. With this much nerves, there was no way I could hold anything down. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. ‘Chill Raven,’ I thought to myself. ‘You’ll turn the corner and they’ll be sitting at a table right in front of you. Nothing to worry about.’ I felt a little bit better at my mental reassurance, but still felt queasy.

“See? There’s Kevin, no worries.” Joe said, squeezing my hand lightly. “Hey man, we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Joe said, clapping his brother on the back as we neared his small table in the corner.

“Yeah, there’s Kevin…” Meris said, looking around the room. “But where’s Sawyer?”

“Thank goodness we found you, I’ve been worried sick.” I said, holding my stomach slightly.

“Yeah man, you had us scared for a bit.” Joe laughed.

“Yo, Kev - hello?” Nick said, waving his hand in front of his brother’s face. But Kevin didn’t look up, he simply kept his gaze down on the table - not showing his face.

“Anybody home?” Joe teased, knocking lightly on Kevin’s head.

Kevin suddenly lifted his gaze, and when his eyes finally met all of ours - my eyes widened in shock. “Oh my god!” Meris screamed. “Kevin, what happened?” His head was gashed on one side, dried blood covering half of his face. His complexion was white as snow, as though he had seen a ghost. He seemed like he was in shock, and said nothing.

“Kevin what in the world happened to you? And where’s Sawyer?” Nick asked, slowly sitting down beside his brother.

“Sawyer.” Kevin choked, looking like he was about to pass out. “Sawyer’s…dead.”

Secret #18: Cue the dramatic movie soundtrack, this is about to get Oscar worthy.

“Very funny Kevin, murder mystery on Halloween.” Nick said, rolling his eyes and laughing with a hint of nerves in his voice. “Now where’s Sawyer?”

“You think I’d lie about something like this?” Kevin asked, his hands firmly on the table as he looked up at us.

“What happened?” Meris asked, her voice just barely a whisper. We all listened intently, the silence in the room almost enough to make you scream. I felt dizzy, like at any give moment I was going to fall over onto the floor only to reopen my eyes and discover that this had all just been one horrible dream.

“We were going up to the room, right before you guys were…” Kevin started slowly, tracing random shapes on the tabletop. “And then Sawyer remembered that she had forgotten her camera in the ballroom, so she went back to go get it.” He paused, exhaling shakily.

“Alright Kevin, enough joking around, there’s no way Sawyer’s-”

“Shut up, Nick!” Joe fired back in frustration, turning his attention back to Kevin. “Keep going.” Nick cringed slightly at his brother’s sudden outburst, but kept quiet.

“So I stopped the elevator doors from closing, and held them for her as she ran back into the ballroom to go get it…” His voice trailed off and put his head in his hands. “I should have gone with her.”

“Kevin, just please tell us what happened.” I begged, my voice scared as ever.

“I heard her scream, so I ran in after her. When I got there-” He took a deep breath. “There was this guy, the janitor, bent over her with a knife to her heart. When he saw me come in, he…stabbed her. I ran over and tried to stop him, but he cut me.” He said, touching the side of his head gingerly. “And then I pulled out my phone to call the police and he ran…” He finished quietly, his scared eyes staring straight ahead.

By this point Meris was crying, clinging onto Nick as he wrapped his arms around her. Joe looked at me, his eyes staring into mine. “You don’t think-” He started, but my mind tuned him out as a thought flashed into my head. It was us, sitting at the table in the empty ballroom two hours ago. The janitor was sweeping up the numerous amounts of silly string left on the floor, seeming innocent enough. But as we were leaving, I remember catching his eye. And then it hit me.

“Oh my god.” I choked, suddenly remembering the face I had seen. “How could I have been so stupid?!” I shrieked, becoming overwhelmed with rage at how I could have possibly just overlooked that one small glance. I turned on my heel and started running back towards the ballroom, just praying that by some miracle that the man I had seen who had killed my friend was still there.

“Raven, no!” Joe called after me, but I ignored him and kept running. By the time I got to the main doors of the room, I was stopped by a police officer who had the entrance taped off.

“Sorry Miss, but we can’t let you go in there.” He said, stepping in front of me.

“No, you don’t understand - that’s my friend!” I shrieked, pointing to the stretcher that was now being pulled out of the room with a white sheet over Sawyer’s body. “You have to let me in!” I cried hysterically.

“I’m to have to ask you to step away.” The officer said, putting his hand up. “This is a murder investigation, unless you know any-”

“I do know! I know who killed her!” I said, still trying to pull myself free of his grasp to get inside. “You have to let me see her!”

“Sergeant, we’ve just discovered three more bodies in the abandoned ballroom next door.” Came a voice over the officer’s radio. I felt myself freeze.

“10-4.” The sergeant replied, returning his attention back to me. “What do you know?” He questioned me. I was fuming by this point.

“His name’s William Danvers! He’s partners with Elizabeth Simmons, a teacher at my school! They’ve been plotting to kill me and the Jonas Brothers-” I started rambling.

“The Jonas Brothers, huh? Very funny kid. Now please step aside, this is big people’s business we’re dealing with.” He said, shaking his head.

“No, wait! You have to believe me!” I pleaded, but he had already walked back into the ballroom and closed the doors in front of me. “Please.” I said quietly, leaning against the door and pounding on it - just praying that they’d let me inside.

“Raven, what happened?” Nick asked softly, suddenly appearing behind me with Joe, Meris and a still dazed Kevin. “What’re you not telling us?”

“I can’t…I can’t.” I stuttered, looking up at them while feeling like the entire world was back on my shoulders. Joe wrapped his arms around me, letting me bury my head in his shoulder. “It was supposed to be over.” I cried.

“I know,” He sighed sadly. “Come on, let’s get out of here…”

Days passed, and I was now basically living in the Jonas’s penthouse - afraid to ever go anywhere alone. Meris was over frequently, but the days were usually spent in silence as we sat around - still trying to take in everything that had happened over the past week.

Sawyer’s parent’s were a wreck, so Meris and I decided that we’d plan the wake and funeral for them. It was the least I could do, since Sawyer’s death was basically my fault. The thought of one of my best friend’s dying because of me was eating away at my heart, and I felt like I was on the verge of suicide. Everything I touched, I ruined. It was only a matter of time before something happened to Joe, Nick, Kevin - anybody. I didn’t even know why they even bothered to still be near me at this point.

The story of the unsolved murder’s of Sawyer Collins, my father, my mother and one of my dad’s workers was all over the news. Headlines and magazine covers were graced with unappealing headlines like ‘Massacre at Bristol-Hillman Dance’ or ‘Teen & Wanted Criminals Murdered’ and ‘Halloween Tragedy: Murders at School dance cause chaos in NYC.’ I was getting so agitated with all this that I ended up throwing the newspapers in the fireplace and sat in front of it, watching them burn.

It was now Wednesday, Kevin’s birthday. The mood in the house was slowly lifting a bit, the wake and funeral set and ready for the following morning. All of us decided to go out to dinner, Josh tagging along as well for a night out. I was a bit apprehensive on whether I wanted to go, but I figured I needed some time away from the house to help clear my head.

Joe and I spent the afternoon downtown shopping for a birthday present for Kevin - watching as all the Christmas decorations slowly began to appear around Times Square. It gave me somewhat of a warm feeling inside to know the holidays were coming, even though they would be so much different from years passed this time around. I was looking forward to spending time with Joe and his family, and now that his parents had finally been released from International Intelligence captivity that morning - I would finally be able to meet them at dinner tonight.

“I can’t wait till it snows.” Joe smiled, swinging our hands back and forth as we walked down the sidewalk of 5^th avenue.

“And why’s that?” I asked, looking over at him as I lightly squeezed his hand.

“Because, snow makes everything prettier.” He said simply.

“Yeah, until it’s in big brown piles on the side of the road.” I said, scrunching up my nose a bit.

“Are you always so pessimistic?” He asked teasingly.

“It’s a gift.” I shrugged with a smile. He just chuckled and rolled his eyes.

The plan for the night was simple, yet elegant. Kevin didn’t want a huge ordeal done for his birthday, simply a night out with family and friends. We were going out to a French restaurant called Daniel located in the Mayfair hotel, and I was actually starting to get a bit anxious. I had never met the Jonas’s parents before, but Meris assured me that they were nice people.

“How would you know?” I questioned as I tugged on my cream colored tank top and made sure my dress pants were wrinkle free. I really wanted to make a good impression.

“Because.” Meris smiled, blocking my view of the mirror as she put her earrings in. “I mean, look at how nice the boys already are. Just think of how nice their parents are going to be. Plus, I’ve watched enough episodes of Living the Dream to know. So there.”

I just rolled my eyes and smiled, a sudden knock on the door causing both of us to jump a bit. “You guys ready?” Came Nick’s voice through the wood.

“Yeah, one sec.” Meris called back, grabbing my Vera Wang perfume off the dresser and squirting it on herself. “Thanks love!” She said, grabbing her purse and hurrying out the spare room door. I rolled my eyes yet again and slowly followed her out, closing the door behind me.

When I joined everyone in the main living area of the penthouse, I located the Jonas parents. Denise and Paul Jonas. Denise, with her wide brown eyes and dark curly hair was standing with her arm around Kevin - talking to Nick with a smile on her face. Paul was wrapped up in deep conversation with Joe and my brother, who both appeared to be listening intently. I tried my best to keep quiet as I walked over, but Joe caught my eye in seconds. “Hey, there you are.” He smiled at me. I bit my lip and smiled in return. “Mom, dad - this is Raven Wilson.” He said, introducing me.

“Nice to meet you.” I said bashfully.

“Oh it’s so good to finally meet you!” Mrs. Jonas grinned at me, giving me a hug. “Joe’s told me so much about you.”

“Raven, nice to meet you.” Mr. Jonas smiled at me, shaking my hand. I was already starting to feel welcome, and that was a big deal to me. I watched the ways the Jonas parents were around their parents, and it gave me a somewhat hollow feeling in my stomach. No matter how much I hated my father, and how annoying my mother was - they were still my parents. Knowing that I had missed out on these little moments hurt a bit, but I tried to push my feelings aside.

A night out with the Jonas family was much more fun then I could have ever imagined, and just being around them made you feel at peace. It made me realize that family time was something I really needed. And even though I wasn’t of blood relations, they made me feel like a sister or a daughter to them. It was just nice to know that there are still good people out there. I looked over at Joe during the middle of yet another loud, crazy story while eating dinner and he smiled at me. And for once, I finally felt happy.

Secret #19 - Sometimes it's the littlest moments that make all the difference.

I had only ever been to one wake before this one, and it was for my mother’s cousin. I didn’t know him well, so the whole situation didn’t phase me much. But this time around, everything was different. I stood in the funeral home parking lot, leaning against Joe’s car - waiting. I was wearing dark skinny jeans and a black short sleeved shirt with a long, heart pendant necklace around my neck. My medium, dirty blonde hair was lying straight in it’s short choppy layers - my silver heels tapping anxiously on the pavement. I pulled my sweater tight as I crossed my arms, the cold fall breeze nearly making my eyes tear.

It was only a few minutes later that Nick, Kevin and Meris showed up in Nick’s new Mustang. They pulled into a space beside ours and got out, exchanging weak smiles and nods before I slowly joined hands with Joe and we started walking across the parking lot together. Once the two glass doors opened and we walked inside, I was welcomed by a blast of heat. All of us were silent as we wiped our feet off on the large, antique looking rug and started off down the hall towards Sawyer’s room.

My mind was working in slow motion today, each thought lingering for longer than necessary. It was like the world was moving at warp speed and I just kept sinking further and further into quicksand. My parents had their bodies taken by the police since they were wanted criminals, so I never really had a chance to say goodbye. I mean, I didn’t really want to say goodbye - their death was something that I didn‘t feel the need to mourn over. But they were still my parents, no matter how much I had hated them.

When my eyes lifted from the floor, they met with that of Sawyer’s parents’. Mrs. Collins looked as though she was trying as hard as she could to hold it together, and Mr. Collins just stood like a statue - smiling at us and shaking our hands in thanks for organizing it all. All I could do was nod in return, my hands knit together behind my back as I rocked back and forth on my heels.

The fact that it was open casket was like a wake up call for me. I had heard the news, read all the articles countless times and even been at the scene of the crime. But to actually be standing here, staring down at one of my best friends who was actually dead? The thought put knots in my stomach. Sawyer wouldn’t be there when we failed our drivers tests and laughed about it on the way home. She wouldn’t be there when prom came around and we would spend weeks trying to find the perfect dress. She wouldn’t be there when we laughed at our stupid inside jokes, and she wouldn’t be there when we cried. Losing her was like losing a piece of me, no matter how many stupid fights we had had in the past.

I knelt beside her and said my prayers as quickly as I could before turning away, only to sit in one of the chairs in the room. The hours dragged on, and all the faces of the countless people I had seen were beginning to blend together. I simply smiled weakly and shook my head as everyone gave me their sympathies - Joe at my side the entire time. It wasn’t until the last twenty minutes that things got interesting.

“Raven Wilson?” A dark skinned man in a gray suit had come over and was now standing in front of me, looking intimidating.

“Uhm, yes.” I said simply, standing up and smoothing my pants.

“I’m Detective Carol Harrison from the FBI.” He said, showing a badge before extending a hand to me and shaking it firmly. “I’d like to offer you my deepest sympathies.”

“Oh, thanks.” I said, biting my lip.

“I know the situation is entirely unappealing, but would you mind if I spoke to you in private for a moment?” He said, stepping aside and gesturing to the hall. I looked down at Joe, and he simply shrugged.

“Uh, yeah I suppose.” I said a bit apprehensively, slowly making my way through the crowd in the room and out into the large, dim corridor. “So, uh, what’s up?” I asked once we were free of the noise.

“I have some excellent news for you.” He smiled at me.
“Seriously? That would be a first.” I laughed weakly, nervously pulling on my necklace.

“William Danvers and Elizabeth Simmons turned themselves in last night, as with the death of both your parents - PKL, Emolument and International Intelligence organizations have collapsed without their guidance to aid them.” He said, smiling at me.

I stood there, my jaw nearly on the floor. “How?”

“War broke out between both sides in London earlier this week,” He began. “They were fortunately not wise enough to keep in among themselves, and all those involved were caught right out in public.”

“Does that mean…” My voice trailed off.

“Yes, Raven.” He smiled, putting a hand on my shoulder. “It’s all over.”

“H-How can that be possible?” I asked again, blinking.

“Everyone involved has either fled or been arrested. We also have people keeping an eye on things to make sure no more of these organizations ever form again. I’m so sorry we hadn’t intervened earlier…” He said, shaking his head.

“No, it’s fine.” I said, running my hand through my hair in disbelief. “So, all of them, I mean, it’s really over?” I asked, looking up at him. He smiled and nodded. “Wow.” I sighed, feeling a warm feeling in my stomach.

It was the kind of feeling I hadn’t felt in years. I almost couldn’t even tell what it was. But then I knew. Happiness, relief - joy. It was all there inside of me. I would never have to live in secret again, lie about everything to everyone. I wouldn’t have to worry about any of my friends being killed, or worry that my father would just pop up again with some kind of evil scheme. I could walk into my classes without even thinking about what Mrs. Simmons would say to me, roam the halls and streets of the city without a care in the world. It was really over, done.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” I said, throwing my arms around the man in a hug as I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks.

He chuckled. “You’re welcome.”

I pulled away quickly, my head snapping into realization. “Joe.” I gasped. I turned around and started running back into Sawyer’s room, pushing my way through the groups of people. “Joe!” I called, standing on my tip toes to see him still sitting in the chair beside mine across the room. His eyes met mine, and he stood up - perplexed.

“Raven, what’s wrong?” He asked, he too now making his way through the masses of people to reach me. By the time we were close enough, I had my arms thrown around my neck. I was laughing, crying tears of joy.

“Joe.” I said simply, hugging him tightly. I wouldn’t have to worry about losing him anymore, and that was the best feeling in the world.

“What is it?” He asked with a shaky laugh. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s over, Joe. They caught them, they stopped everything - it’s - it’s all over.” I breathed, my head in his shoulder. He pulled me away from him to look in my eyes, smiling and shaking his head in shock like I had.

“Seriously?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes.” I smiled. And before I had anymore time to react, his lips were on mine. There was so much relief in his kiss. Like we knew it wouldn’t be our last, and that we wouldn’t have to ever even think about losing each other ever again. It was the start of a new beginning, a whole new life. When we pulled away, he wiped the tears from my eyes and smiled.

“I love you.” He said, his brown eyes burning into mine.

“I love you too, Joe. More than anything. I never want to worry about losing you again.” I said, hugging him tightly.

“You won’t.” He whispered in my ear. And with that, I knew he was right. I won’t lose him, never again.

Secret #20 - Some secerets need to be kept, some stories should never be told. Some reasons shouldn't be understood - it just might turn your blood cold.